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The society would benefit from a ban o all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion? v.1

The society would benefit from a ban o all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. with the opinion? v. 1
Tourists these days are showing an interest in visiting places with harsh conditions. For some people travelling to such places will be a unique experience because it is not something you get to experience in your day-to-day life. However, there are some downsides to this kind of trips because they might compromise people’s health and fitness. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of visiting dangerous or offbeat locations. Visiting a place that could pose a threat to your life may be exciting for some travellers and this feeling could actually enhance your appreciation for life and health. People are amazed by the sort of scenery and landscape that they might find in isolated places untouched by humans. This allows them to find a connection with their inner self. Witnessing the wonders of the nature also allows people to find a new purpose in life and look at the world in a different light. Also, for some people travelling to uninhabited and peaceful places could improve their health in several ways. For example, in 2016, the University Of Cambridge reported that people who lived for a month in the Brazilian Jungle improved their sight by sixty percent in comparison to those who lived their regular life in the city. On the other hand, travelling to locations with difficult conditions might create a problem to those tourists who are mentally weak or addicted to technology. The feeling of isolation could make them feel homesick and they may get depressed and cut the trip short before visiting the best parts. To illustrate, a survey done by The Institute of Tourism in Africa showed that almost twenty-five percent of tourists crossing the Sahara desert did not finish the tour because they were feeling isolated and the conditions were too extreme for them. As a result, they had to be evacuated by an emergency helicopter. To conclude, exploring places that have an uncommon condition could be a positive trip for some people looking for a spiritual experience or a health improvement. However, for those who are afraid of losing their comfort zone and the connection with the 21st century, this kind of excursion might be a disappointing idea due to the facilities that these places lack.
Tourists these days are showing an interest in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with harsh conditions. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will be a unique experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not something you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to experience in your day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides to this kind of trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
compromise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and fitness. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
or offbeat locations.

Visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that could pose a threat to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may be exciting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and this feeling could actually enhance your appreciation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are amazed
by the sort of scenery and landscape that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
find in isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
untouched by humans. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to find a connection with their inner self. Witnessing the wonders of the nature
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a new purpose in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and look at the world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
light.

Also
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to uninhabited and peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in several ways.
For example
, in 2016, the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
University Of Cambridge
reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
for a month in the Brazilian Jungle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their sight by sixty percent
in comparison
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the city.

On the other hand
, travelling to locations with difficult conditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
create a problem to those tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are mentally weak or addicted to technology. The feeling of isolation could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
homesick and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the trip short
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
visiting the best parts. To illustrate, a survey done by The Institute of Tourism in Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that almost twenty-five percent of tourists crossing the Sahara desert did not finish the tour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were feeling isolated and the conditions were too extreme for them.
As a result
, they had to
be evacuated
by an emergency helicopter.

To conclude
, exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that have an uncommon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
could be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trip for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
looking for a spiritual experience or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
improvement.
However
, for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are afraid of losing their comfort zone and the connection with the 21st century, this kind of excursion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a disappointing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to the facilities that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
lack.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The society would benefit from a ban o all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. with the opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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