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The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion. v.3

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. v. 3
In today's world, the use of computers is ever increasing. It is one of the most important things in human life. It became a common part of modern society. Scientists think that it will become smarter than human. Some people discover that it is a positive trend, but others have a negative attitude towards this dependency on computers. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of such a measure. One of the main beneficial developments of computers is that it made life easier and more convenient for everybody. For example, it is comfortable to sit at home and do research on the internet with your computer. Your computer is open 24 hours a day, unlike a library or office. In addition, computer technology can connect workers in different countries. Workers can communicate via email, online networks, and video conferencing. It gives people to save their time and money. Computers have automated the offices, education, banking, even the advancement of treatment and crime detection were possible due to the powerful computer technology. These examples make it clear that it is a positive increase in human life. On the other hand, this development has its disadvantages. It can lead to the loss of the balance in society. For instance, offices will be disappearing in the future and virtual online offices may replace them. Therefore, people will become very lazy which is crucial to the way in which human develop without socialisation skills. They move toward the creation of higher unemployment. That's way there will appear two groups: humans and computer technologies. To conclude, it is the beneficial development for human life, however, it impacts badly as well. I strongly believe that there are many advantages in the way of development and we should take advantages of it. We have made the computers and as human, we will control them.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
. It is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life. It became a common part of modern society. Scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will become smarter than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discover that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude towards this dependency on computers. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of such a measure.

One of the main beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
of computers is that it made life easier and more convenient for everybody.
For example
, it is comfortable to sit at home and do research on the internet with your computer. Your computer is open 24 hours a day, unlike a library or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
In addition
, computer technology can connect workers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. Workers can communicate via email, online networks, and video conferencing. It gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to save their time and money. Computers have automated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
, education, banking, even the advancement of treatment and crime detection were possible due to the powerful computer technology. These examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.

On the other hand
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has its disadvantages. It can lead to the loss of the balance in society.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
will be disappearing in the future and virtual online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
may replace them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lazy which is crucial to the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
develop without
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
toward the creation of higher unemployment. That's way there will appear two groups:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and computer technologies.

To conclude
, it is the beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life,
however
, it impacts
badly
as well
. I
strongly
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in the way of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
development and
we should take advantages of it. We have made the computers and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, we will control them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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