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The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion. v.2

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. v. 2
Shopping preference varies widely between one consumer and another. A few are of the opinion that concentrated area for shopping provides optimal consumer experience. However, others prefer local markets. The merits of both will be discussed in this essay. Some people are of the view that shopping malls render a more conducive atmosphere for buying items than markets. For example, while living in Portharcourt, I often went to Shoprite mall because I could buy a wide range of product there, from clothing to food to electronics. On most scenarios this item is tagged for easy accessibility in local markets. As such an eclectic offerings of goods are commonly unavailable in the local market. Therefore, it is understandable why many people support the idea that such centres are better way to purchase goods. However, the above view is not supported by everyone. Others believe that the local markets provide its buyers with cheaper goods and fresh produce. To illustrate, when I went on vacations to Lagos, I bought most edible items. These items are harvested and sold by farmers and this makes the goods affordable to purchase. Although, Shoprite provides convenience, the freshness of its products cannot be compared to that of Mile 12 area. Thus, it is clear from this example why many deem the merits of local markets superior to those of shopping centres. In conclusion, after looking at the benefits of both sides, it appears difficult to decide which shopping arrangement offers the best shopping experience. It must therefore be concluded that both options are satisfying in different ways. Despite the tremendous growth in the popularity of shopping malls. It is expected that local markets will always have dedicated patrons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
preference varies
widely
between one consumer and another. A few are of the opinion that concentrated area for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
provides optimal consumer experience.
However
, others prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets. The merits of both will
be discussed
in this essay.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls render a more conducive atmosphere for buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
than markets.
For example
, while living in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Portharcourt
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shoprite
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a wide
Possible agreement error. The noun 'product' seems to be countable; consider using: "range of products".
range of product
there, from clothing to food to electronics. On most scenarios this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is tagged
for easy accessibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
such an eclectic
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "offering"?
offerings
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are
commonly
unavailable in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
Therefore
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that such
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
Please check whether an article is missing: "a better".
better
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

However
, the above view is not supported by everyone. Others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets provide its buyers with cheaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and fresh produce. To illustrate, when I went on vacations to Lagos, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
most edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are harvested
and sold by farmers and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
affordable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Although,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shoprite
provides convenience, the freshness of its products cannot
be compared
to that of Mile 12 area.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from this example why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deem the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets superior to those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

In conclusion
, after looking at the benefits of both sides, it appears difficult to decide which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
arrangement offers the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
therefore
be concluded
that both options are satisfying in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. Despite the tremendous growth in the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets will always have dedicated patrons.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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