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The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion. v.1

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. v. 1
It is true that computers are becoming more powerful and smarter, and they are predicted by the scientist to be more intelligent than humans. While some people argue that this will brings nightmare scenarios, I agree with others who believe this development benefit all of us. In the future, with the aid of artificial intelligence, manual tasks would be no longer need the interference of human. Take the stock market area as an example, in the past, it is hard for investors to analyse and deduce much from the data, but nowadays, the advancement in analysing software not only facilitates us to do these tasks easily but also suggest a good way of investing for the novice only by a clicking mouse. Therefore, when most people can do investment without the support of experts, people who give advice for the novice would gradually lose their job. It is inevitable that many labours would lose their jobs as a result of the innovative improvement in artificial intelligence. However, I would contend that the benefits which future computers bring to us overcome any of their drawbacks. It is clear that the dynamic growth in man-made intelligence has remarkably improved the living standard of individuals in many aspects of life. In the field of health, by analysing the status quo of patients include height and weight, computers would put them on a diet to improve their physical condition. In terms of entertainment, computers would make a breakthrough in entertaining people by bringing them into a virtual world where adventure to the fiction-land never seems so realistic. In conclusion, although there is some disadvantage to this development, I believe that smarter computers will make our lives better.
It is true that computers are becoming more powerful and smarter, and they
are predicted
by the scientist to be more intelligent than humans. While
some
people
argue that this will brings nightmare scenarios, I
agree
with others who believe this development benefit all of us.

In the future, with the aid of artificial intelligence, manual tasks would be no longer need the interference of human. Take the stock market area as an example, in the past, it is
hard
for investors to
analyse
and deduce much from the data,
but
nowadays, the advancement in
analysing
software not
only
facilitates us to do these tasks
easily
but
also
suggest a
good
way of investing for the novice
only
by a clicking mouse.
Therefore
, when most
people
can do investment without the support of experts,
people
who give advice for the novice would
gradually
lose their job. It is inevitable that
many
labours
would lose their jobs
as a result
of the innovative improvement in artificial intelligence.

However
, I would contend that the benefits which future computers bring to us overcome any of their drawbacks. It is
clear
that the dynamic growth in
man
-made intelligence has
remarkably
improved
the living standard of individuals in
many
aspects of life. In the field of health, by
analysing
the status quo of patients
include
height and weight, computers would put them on a diet to
improve
their physical condition. In terms of entertainment, computers would
make
a breakthrough in entertaining
people
by bringing them into a virtual world where adventure to the fiction-land never seems
so
realistic.

In
conclusion, although there is
some
disadvantage to this development, I believe that smarter computers will
make
our
lives
better.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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