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Some people think that children should learn to read from traditional paper books, while others feel that it is fine to start the reading process on an e-reader (like a Kindle or iPad). Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that children should learn to read from traditional paper books, while others feel that it is fine to start the reading process on an e-reader (like a Kindle or iPad). v. 1
With the help of technology, we have shifted from paper books to e-book readers. Some are of the opinion that youngsters should read from paperback, on the contrary, others are of the opinion that using technology in learning through new age gadgets such as Kindle or iPad is better. In my view, we should use the technology to teach our children in schools. The supporters of traditional reading material argue that it is better in the long term for young people. While studying one has to concentrate hard on the book, reading on paper book make no or very less strain on their eyes. In contrast, reading on e-book reader for a long time that has blue lite, is not good for their health. If we insist our children to go for this new technology, it will surely effect on their vision in long run. On the other hand, I argue that we should shift from paper based to e- reading for its numerous benefits. Although using an iPad is not so healthy for a child, if used in moderation and with precautions it is a useful technology. It creates more interest in reading and because it is interactive they learn with fun. For example, my four year old niece is more interested in my iPad, whenever she gets a chance to have it, she opens up her favourite lesson and try to learn it. with its benefits it is better for new age children to make use of this technology. In conclusion, reading through traditional method has its own charm, at the same time I side with the 21st century new age reading material through which a child can learn with interest.
With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we have shifted from paper books to e-book readers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that youngsters should read from paperback,
on the contrary
, others are of the opinion that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in learning through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
age gadgets such as Kindle or iPad is better. In my view, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to teach our children in schools.

The supporters of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
material argue that it is better in the long term for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While studying one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on the book,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
on paper book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less strain on their eyes.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
on e-book reader for a long time that has blue lite, is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their health. If we insist our children to go for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it will
surely
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on their vision in long run.

On the other hand
, I argue that we should shift from paper based to e-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for its numerous benefits. Although using an iPad is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
healthy for a child, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in moderation and with precautions it is a useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It creates more interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is interactive they learn with fun.
For example
, my four year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
niece is more interested in my iPad, whenever she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to have it, she opens up her
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
lesson and try to learn it. with its benefits it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
age children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this technology.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
through traditional method has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
charm, at the same time I side with the 21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
material through which a child can learn with interest.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should learn to read from traditional paper books, while others feel that it is fine to start the reading process on an e-reader (like a Kindle or iPad). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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