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The school is reducing the sculpture class size by half, because there is a shortage on budgeting for the required equipment. The woman expresses her opinion about the announcement. State her opinion and explain the reasons that she gives for holding that v.1

The school is reducing the sculpture class size by half, because there is a shortage on budgeting for the required equipment. The woman expresses her opinion about the announcement. State her opinion and explain the reasons that she gives for holding that v. 1
Some offenders are repeating more crimes, even though, after their foremost punishment. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening and put forward the plethora of solutions for this issue. First of all, the primary reason is the lack of education, the criminal has. In other words, criminals often do notorious activities because, they do not aware of the law and order system because of the minimal educational level they have. Consequently, they have the mind set to go for the activities that prohibited by law. Furthermore, most of the criminals do not have family commitments. In detail, a person who has a family entails spouse and children will think twice before going for any criminal activities. For instance, a recent study conducted by the government of Kerala proved that, eighty percent of the confined criminals in myriads of jails in Kerala are illiterate an no family commitments. We can minimise the crime rates by inculcating the criminals and also by educating them. The government and the law authorities should take adequate measures to educate the culprits. Moreover, the criminals should strictly studied about the moral values and ethics of life. In this way, we can prevent the criminals for doing more crimes. For example, recently the government of India started a project to rehabilitate the criminals with good university study. In conclusion, I reiterate that, criminals tend to repeat crimes because of the lack of standard schooling they have and unaware of the social values. We can reduce the rate of crime by proper education and awareness to them in a proper manner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
offenders are repeating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
even though
, after their foremost punishment. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening and put forward the plethora of solutions for this issue.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the primary reason is the lack of education, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
has.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do notorious activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they do not aware of the law and order system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the minimal educational level they have.
Consequently
, they have the mind set to go for the activities that prohibited by law.
Furthermore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
do not have family commitments. In detail, a person who has a family entails spouse and children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities.
For instance
, a recent study conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Kerala proved that, eighty percent of the confined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in myriads of jails in Kerala are illiterate
Did you mean "and" or "any"?
an
no family commitments.

We can
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates by inculcating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
also
by educating them. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the law authorities should take adequate measures to educate the culprits.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
strictly
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "study"
studied
about the moral values and ethics of life. In this way, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, recently the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a project to rehabilitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
university study.

In conclusion
, I reiterate that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
tend to repeat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of standard schooling they have and unaware of the social values. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by proper education and awareness to them
Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper manner
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay The school is reducing the sculpture class size by half, because there is a shortage on budgeting for the required equipment. The woman expresses her opinion about the announcement. State her opinion and explain the reasons that she gives for holding that v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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