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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology To what extent do you agree v.2

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology 2
Education is the most important element to utilize in the competitions of the practical world. It is believed that, Children should be encouraged to focus on scientific fields, for instance, information technology. Thus courses related to arts and music should be dropped out of school schedules. I believe that, arts is as much valuable as science for the upcoming generations. Scientific developments are considered to lay paradigm of the future of a nation. A common argument put forward is that, courses in schools are getting tougher every year. It requires a great deal of energy and time of the students. Amidst such complicated courses, including arts in schools curriculum would serve as an extra burden on the students. Thereby, distributing their attention in various subjects, subsequently, it would affect their grades. In addition to that, it is favored by many that children should be appreciated to improve scientific or computer skills instead of paintings and singing. However, children are more intrigued by drawings and music, therefore, it can easily dominate a growing child' s mind. Hence, by removing arts from the schedule the element of deviation can be eliminated. On the contrary, arts itself is a productive field and it holds positive impacts on overall personality of a child. Firstly, some children are artistic by nature and pressurizing them to pursue career elsewhere could be devastating for their future. Secondly, students cannot be constrained in a particular place, meanwhile, activities for example music, singing and painting develops their interest in school. Thus, inculcating discipline in children in a friendly way. Furthermore, artistic activities in school provide an opportunity for those who wants to select arts as a career and having arts departments in school can establish their interest further in pursuing it as a career. To conclude, although information technology and science are dominating modern era today. I argue, that arts carry almost the same positive impacts and i hope that over education system adopts a scheme in which they can carry arts and science in a parallel fashion.
Education is the most
important
element to utilize in the competitions of the practical world. It
is believed
that,
Children
should
be encouraged
to focus on scientific fields,
for instance
, information technology.
Thus
courses related to
arts
and music should
be dropped
out of
school
schedules. I believe that,
arts
is as much valuable as science for the upcoming generations.

Scientific developments
are considered
to lay paradigm of the future of a nation. A common argument put forward is that, courses in
schools
are getting tougher every year. It requires a great deal of energy and time of the students. Amidst such complicated courses, including
arts
in
schools
curriculum would serve as an extra burden on the students. Thereby, distributing their attention in various subjects,
subsequently
, it would affect their grades.
In addition
to that, it
is favored
by
many
that
children
should
be appreciated
to
improve
scientific or computer
skills
instead
of paintings and singing.
However
,
children
are more intrigued by drawings and music,
therefore
, it can
easily
dominate a growing
child&
#039; s mind.
Hence
, by removing
arts
from the schedule the element of deviation can
be eliminated
.

On the contrary
,
arts
itself is a productive field and it holds
positive
impacts on
overall
personality of a child.
Firstly
,
some
children
are artistic by nature and pressurizing them to pursue career elsewhere could be devastating for their future.
Secondly
, students cannot
be constrained
in a particular place, meanwhile, activities
for example
music, singing and painting develops their interest in
school
.
Thus
, inculcating discipline in
children
in a friendly way
.
Furthermore
, artistic activities in
school
provide an opportunity for those who wants to select
arts
as a career and having
arts
departments in
school
can establish their interest
further
in pursuing it as a career.

To conclude
, although information technology and science are dominating modern era
today
. I argue, that
arts
carry almost the same
positive
impacts and
i
hope that over education system adopts a scheme in which they can carry
arts
and science
in a parallel fashion
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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