Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. v. 1
In the majority of cities, a great deal of amount has been spent on the re-structuring the old properties. However, instead of spending this huge fund for the restoration, there are numerous advantages by allocating them on the construction of new houses as well as to widening roads. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will discuss the various reasons for to support the argument. To begin with, by spending funds on the new homes, people will get an enormous employment opportunities across the state. Since the construction of huge buildings and communities it requires a lot manpower at various levels from the ground to the ceiling of the house. Apparently, it will significantly increase the province GDP rate over a period of time. Last year, in Canada, the construction of new sites and the renovation of old properties has tremendously increased its financial status. In addition to that, by providing safe places to people, it will lead to an ideal environment for the people so that there would be a greater satisfaction in public in those areas. Moreover, even by allocating money on roads, it will bring a wide access to the states and their capital cities. With a limited speed of transportation and less connectivity, there would be less chances of improvement in terms of technology and accessing to the national highways. In order to avoid this, we should have a proper well constructed highways so that it will bring a greater conjunctions to other provinces and states. For instance, in India, there is a significant range of connectivity to all the states with the help of national highways across the country. Hence, transportation is the predominant for the development of any country which will happen only through the safe and wide roads. To conclude, In my view, it's more important to spend money on to build brand new apartments and wide road connectivity instead of restoring old one's.
In the majority of cities, a great deal of amount has
been spent
on the re-structuring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
properties.
However
,
instead
of spending this huge fund for the restoration, there are numerous advantages by allocating them on the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
as well
as to widening roads. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. This essay will discuss the various reasons for to support the argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by spending funds on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an enormous employment opportunities across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
. Since the construction of huge buildings and communities it requires
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of manpower"?
a lot manpower
at various levels from the ground to the ceiling of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Apparently
, it will
significantly
increase the province GDP rate over a period of time. Last year, in Canada, the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sites and the renovation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
properties has
tremendously
increased its financial status.
In addition
to that, by providing safe places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it will lead to an ideal environment for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there would be a greater satisfaction in public in those areas.

Moreover
, even by allocating money on roads, it will bring
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "wide access".
a wide access
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
and their capital cities. With a limited speed of transportation and less connectivity, there would be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of improvement in terms of technology and accessing to the national highways. In order to avoid this, we should have a proper well constructed highways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will bring a greater conjunctions to other provinces and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
.
For instance
, in India, there is a significant range of connectivity to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of national highways across the country.
Hence
, transportation is the predominant for the development of any country which will happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through the safe and wide roads.

To conclude
, In my view, it's more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend money on to build brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
apartments and wide road connectivity
instead
of restoring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one's.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts