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The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. v. 2
Mending historical monuments in various parts of the world costs a fortune for their respective governments. Some people believe that instead of wasting money on old buildings, it can be utilized for constructing new houses and roads for the public. Nevertheless, as a person who is very fond of ancient history and heritage, I completely disagree with the statement and in the following essay, I would like to discuss my ideas against the given topic. To begin with, man has become so busy with the modern-day lifestyle that he completely got stripped off all the connections with his predecessors. The buildings constructed in the past using traditional methodologies with sculptures and paintings in them play a crucial role in inculcating the glory, culture, and architectural brilliance of the ancient people into the present world. Thus, making it our basic responsibility to protect and restore them to carry the traditions to future generations. Meanwhile, in the name of development and due to negligence, many historical constructions are turning into modern buildings and ruins respectively in many parts of the world. To illustrate, King Sri Krishnadevaraya constructed seven temples in the 18th century in Hampi, Karnataka dedicated to the "Seven Sages". However, out of the seven only one is functional to this day, whereas the remaining six were destroyed in the course of time. Temples which stood tall through many reigns of various rulers are now either destroyed or demolished and transformed into concrete jungles. This demonstrates the need for preserving old constructions even it requires a substantial investment of financial resources. Secondly, there is a myriad of ideas and methods which can be implemented in transforming a repaired historical site into a tourist attraction. This not only helps in generating a perpetual source of income to the heritage site, but also helps in educating the people about the historical importance of the building. For example, Golconda fort in Hyderabad, Telangana restored by the government has now become a "must visit" place in the city. The revenue being generated from the place in terms of entrance tickets and other amusement activities is not only sufficient for the maintenance of the place, but also being used by the government for social welfare programs around the locality. To conclude, old buildings play an important role in revealing the tales of glorious past they have witnessed over time. Spending some money on restoring them is the last thing we can do to conserve the history and heritage to the future generations.
Mending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
monuments in various parts of the world costs a fortune for their respective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
instead
of wasting money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, it can
be utilized
for constructing new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and roads for the public.
Nevertheless
, as a person who is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fond of ancient history and heritage, I completely disagree with the statement and in the following essay, I would like to discuss my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy with the modern-day lifestyle that he completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stripped off all the connections with his predecessors. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
constructed in the past using traditional methodologies with sculptures and paintings in them play a crucial role in inculcating the glory, culture, and architectural brilliance of the ancient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
into the present world.
Thus
, making it our basic responsibility to protect and restore them to carry the traditions to future generations. Meanwhile, in the name of development and due to negligence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
constructions are turning into modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and ruins
respectively
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. To illustrate, King Sri
Possible spelling mistake found.
Krishnadevaraya
constructed seven temples in the 18th century in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hampi
, Karnataka dedicated to the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Seven Sages
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
However
, out of the seven
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one is functional to this day, whereas the remaining six were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
in the course of time. Temples which stood tall through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reigns of various rulers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
or demolished and transformed into concrete jungles. This demonstrates the need for preserving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
constructions even it requires a substantial investment of financial resources.

Secondly
, there is a myriad of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and methods which can
be implemented
in transforming a repaired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
site into a tourist attraction. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in generating a perpetual source of income to the heritage site,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in educating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
For example
, Golconda
The singular proper name 'Golconda' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "forts", "".
fort
in Hyderabad, Telangana restored by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
visit
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
place in the city. The revenue
being generated
from the place in terms of entrance tickets and other amusement activities is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sufficient for the maintenance of the place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for social welfare programs around the locality.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in revealing the tales of glorious past they have witnessed over time. Spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money on restoring them is the last thing we can do to conserve the history and heritage to the future generations.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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