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Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. v. 1
Undeniably, the number of old buildings which needs to be restored is on an incessant rise in the contemporary world. It is often presumed that the renovation consumes huge amount and so, the amount has to be utilized for new buildings and roads. As well as offering my opinion, this essay will elaborate my contention on disbursing money towards restoration of ancient buildings, which is entirely justified. To begin with, ancient constructions in major cities have come to the stage of restoration, which require large sum from the government. Is it completely preposterous to allocate large sum for restoration instead of investing in new roads or houses? One could argue not. There are a plethora of reasons to substantiate this view. The primary reason is that old buildings attract tourists because of the ancient construction techniques used in the process. In turn, this increases not only government revenue but also provides employment opportunities for the localites as they can act as tourist guides. In addition, old constructions carry the resemblance of culture and tradition followed in an area. Also, most buildings have stories behind the purpose of their constructions. For instance, Paris government has put in a huge sum in renovation of Notre Dame after the fire break – out few weeks ago reflecting the importance of that building. Unequivocally, these aspects bolster my confidence that it is entirely necessary to restore ancient runes even though it involves huge expenditure. Nevertheless, it is argued that renovation involves enormous government revenue, which can be utilized for the purpose of new houses or roads. Many metropolitan cities lack in provision of basic amenities such as roads and houses. If the government can invest in this area, it can provide houses for poor and also provide proper connection facilities. Overall, though, this is pale in comparison to renovation since it involves huge lose of tourist revenue. In conclusion, this essay discussed and elucidated my opinion that although renovation of old buildings include enormous government expenditure, it is extremely beneficial as this will bring more tourism income.
Undeniably
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which needs to
be restored
is on an incessant rise in the contemporary world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
presumed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renovation
consumes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
amount and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be utilized
for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
As well
as offering my opinion, this essay will elaborate my contention on disbursing money towards restoration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, which is
entirely
justified.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
in major cities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the stage of restoration, which require large sum from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Is it completely preposterous to allocate large sum for restoration
instead
of investing in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
? One could argue not. There are a plethora of reasons to substantiate this view. The primary reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
attract tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
techniques
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the process. In turn, this increases not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
revenue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides employment opportunities for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
localites
as they can act as tourist guides.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
carry the resemblance of culture and tradition followed in an area.
Also
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have stories behind the purpose of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
.
For instance
, Paris
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has put in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
sum in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renovation
of Notre Dame after the fire break
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
out few weeks ago reflecting the importance of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
Unequivocally
, these aspects bolster my confidence that it is
entirely
necessary to restore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
runes
even though
it involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
expenditure.

Nevertheless
, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renovation
involves enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
revenue, which can
be utilized
for the purpose of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
metropolitan cities lack in provision of basic amenities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can invest in this area, it can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
for poor and
also
provide proper connection facilities.
Overall
, though, this is pale
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renovation
since it involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
lose of tourist revenue.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed and elucidated my opinion that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renovation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
include enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
expenditure, it is
extremely
beneficial as this will bring more tourism income.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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