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The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the word costs numerous government's expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the word costs numerous government's expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. v. 2
With the advent of technology and an era of globalization, many people do not get much time to interact with their neighbours, which have a negative impact on the communities. This is because most people are busy with their life in order to have a good standard of living and spending much of their time on the internet. However, the possible solution to this cause would be organizing the cultural festival in the community and a group meeting in a society once in a month. One of the causes related to not knowing or interacting with a neighbour is that improving the standard of living. Many people want to have a luxurious life, particularly in the metropolitan, so they often work overtime or 24x7 to get this. Another reason is spending more time on the internet. This is because these days the majority of people like to spend their time on social media such as Facebook or Whatsup to kill their leisure time. As a result, they are less inclined to interact with their neighbour. For example, in a survey conducted by Facebook found that 85% of people living in the cities do not know a person who is living next to their door as some are busy with their daily work and some are happy to spend their time on checking a message on Whatsup and chatting with their friends on Facebook. The possible solution to solve this problem is organizing cultural festivals. Governments could organize a culture festival in the community every month. As a result, many people will come to celebrate their festival and this would give them a chance to interact with their neighbours and know them very well. Another solution is arranging a monthly meeting in society. Such a meeting will give more opportunity to everyone in the society for knowing about the new arrival in the society, general discussion and get together. This will enable us to know more about our people who are living next to our door. In conclusion, improving the standard of living and killing our time on the social media platform, results in not knowing our neighbours very well. Only when the higher authorities will organize culture, festivals and meeting of the society on a weekly basis, will the problem be solved.
With the advent of technology and an era of globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to interact with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the communities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their life in order to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and spending much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet.
However
, the possible solution to this cause would be organizing the cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in the community and a group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
once in a month.

One of the causes related to not knowing or interacting with a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
is that improving the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to have a luxurious life,
particularly
in the metropolitan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
work overtime or
Replace by the typographical symbol.
24x7
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this. Another reason is spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these days the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media such as Facebook or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsup
to kill their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
As a result
, they are less inclined to interact with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
.
For example
, in a survey conducted by Facebook found that 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the cities do not know a person who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
next
to their door as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are busy with their daily work and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are happy to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on checking a message on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsup
and chatting with their friends on Facebook.

The possible solution to solve this problem is organizing cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
could organize a culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in the community every month.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to celebrate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
and this would give them a chance to interact with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and
Did you mean "now"?
know
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. Another solution is arranging a monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
will give more opportunity to everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for knowing about the new arrival in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, general discussion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together. This will enable us to know more about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
next
to our door.

In conclusion
, improving the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and killing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the social media platform, results in not knowing our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when the higher authorities will organize culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
on a weekly basis, will the problem
be solved
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the word costs numerous government's expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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