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many people think that planes should be restricted because of it causes pollution and use up energy. do you agree or disagree? v.1

many people think that planes should be restricted because of it causes pollution and use up energy. v. 1
Being professional of a sport is related to many parameters. Focusing on either body strength or brain health is a debated issue among people. For an athlete, both physical and mental strengths are significant factors to be good at a sport. While a competitive sport requires physical health, it also cannot be done without being in mental health. Being in a good condition in terms of body is an important factor for sportsmen. Physical strength gives people a chance to win challenging competitions. When an athlete has a strong body and good-looking form, their opponents can be easily eliminated during the competition. Also, people who have good condition are unlikely to be injured in competitions. For this reason, being in good form is beneficial for people who want to get advantages in competitions. Besides, being mentally healthy is also significant to be successful in sports. Firstly, staying away from stress and having a good psychology is advantageous for sportsmen. When people are being in a good mood, they can motivate themselves to achieve success in the challenges. As a result, they can find the power of doing sports well enough. Secondly, due to the fact that the brain is the most important organ in our body, keeping it active and developing it day by day is also important for mental health. If athletes do not only physical trainings but also mental exercises such as reading books, gaining new information about sports, they can easily manage their acts in competitions. Therefore, being successful cannot be hard for them. From my view, mental health is more important than being in physically health because no matter what kind of strong body sportsmen have, they will not be good at a sport without keeping their brain fit and healthy. In conclusion, some think that keeping form and being in strong condition is more effective to achieve success, while others discuss mental health is more important. Not only having a physical strength but also having a good psychology is important for success in sports. Athletes and sportsman should focus for improving both two sides.
Being professional of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is related
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parameters. Focusing on either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
or brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is a debated issue among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strengths
are significant factors to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. While a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, it
also
cannot
be done
without being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health.

Being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor for sportsmen.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a chance to win challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
. When an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
has a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking form, their opponents can be
easily
eliminated during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition are unlikely to
be injured
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
.
For this reason
, being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
form is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages in competitions.

Besides
, being mentally healthy is
also
significant to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Firstly
, staying away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
psychology is advantageous for sportsmen. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
mood, they can motivate themselves to achieve success in the challenges.
As a result
, they can find the power of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Secondly
, due to the fact that the brain is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
organ in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, keeping it active and developing it day by day is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
trainings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
exercises such as reading books, gaining new information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they can
easily
manage their acts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
.
Therefore
, being successful cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them.

From my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than being in
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no matter what kind of strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
sportsmen have, they will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
without keeping their brain fit and healthy.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that keeping form and being in strong condition is more effective to achieve success, while others discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
psychology is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Athletes
and sportsman should focus for improving both two sides.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay many people think that planes should be restricted because of it causes pollution and use up energy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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