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The Research Studies show that overeating is equal ly harmful to people’s health as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes. To what extent you agree? v.1

The Research Studies show that overeating is equal ly harmful to people’s health as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes. v. 1
It goes without saying that overeating is as harmful as any other nasty habits that man forms. However, the decision of banning adverts of certain food products may not deliver the desired results. This essay depicts the reasons for my disagreements and offers my opinions. Anything that exceeds in our life may need us to look into its detrimental effects for short or long term. Overeating is one among them. The study also suggests that people are increasingly getting obese by overeating. May factors are responsible for fuelling this overeating culture, especially the constant bombardment of commercials on TV. The food services a company has figured out how to get people to voluntarily brainwash themselves for their benefits. Not only this, they on claiming that their fast food-junk food – is as healthy as homemade food. This is untrue because their food is full of preservatives, high calories, additives, sugar and fat. It is high time to rest this ever growing habit of overeating that stems from the deceptive commercials. Agreed, unlike commercials promoting smoking and liquor, the government is not in a position to ban the nuisance of such adverts. But, nonetheless, there are many other means to stop it. Firstly, the government could always tax heavily fast food items, the way they are relentlessly after cigarettes and alcohol. Secondly, together with schools, not-for-profit organizations, and parents should educate and others about the harmful effects of overeating. In conclusion, companies in question would do all to prep the advertised products sell through traditional campaigning, but people and government together need to defeat their efforts.
It goes without saying that overeating is as harmful as any other nasty habits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
forms.
However
, the decision of banning adverts of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products may not deliver the desired results. This essay depicts the reasons for my disagreements and offers my opinions.

Anything that exceeds in our life may need us to look into its detrimental effects for short or long term. Overeating is one among them. The study
also
suggests that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
increasingly
getting obese by overeating. May factors are responsible for fuelling this overeating culture,
especially
the constant bombardment of commercials on TV. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
services a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has figured out how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
voluntarily
brainwash themselves for their benefits. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, they on claiming that their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food-junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
is as healthy as homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This is untrue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is full of preservatives, high calories, additives, sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

It is high time to rest this ever growing habit of overeating that stems from the deceptive commercials.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Agreed
, unlike commercials promoting smoking and liquor, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not in a position to ban the nuisance of such adverts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, nonetheless, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could always tax
heavily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items, the way they are
relentlessly
after cigarettes and alcohol.
Secondly
, together with schools, not-for-profit organizations, and parents should educate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
about the harmful effects of overeating.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in question would do all to prep the advertised products sell through traditional campaigning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
together need to defeat their efforts.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The Research Studies show that overeating is equal ly harmful to people’s health as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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