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Reasearch has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Reasearch has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. v. 2
It is the fact that eating too much is as detrimental as smoking, so the government should prohibit food product ads as they do with cigarettes. While I accept this measure could be well-founded, I believe that it is unreasonable to forbid the advertisement of particular food products. On the one hand, it is widely believed that some particular food ads could indirectly put people’s health in jeopardy, like smoking. Via television channels, children normally watch food advertisements such as McDonald and KFC, these ads make them tempted to consume fast food instead of healthy food like vegetables. In the long-term, it is possible for children to be obese, because fast food is high in fat and starch. Additionally, attractive food advertisements can stimulate appetite spontaneously, causing symptoms of mental health. For example, my nephew would become aggressive and smash furniture if his mother does not buy junk food. On the other hand, I believe that there are some reasons why the authorities should not ban the advertising of certain food items. Firstly, many food manufacturers consider that advertisement is the most effective measure to approach potential customers and introduce their new products in the market. If their ads are imposed a ban, corporate profits would significantly drop, causing these companies to be on the brink of bankruptcy. Secondly, banning these ads is an obvious disadvantage for consumers because they could not be well-informed about the products they intend to purchase. Finally, eye-catching food advertisements might help those who suffer from anorexia consume more food. In conclusion, while I recognize that forbidding the advertising of specific foodstuffs would prevent health problems, I argue that imposing a ban on these ads is not appropriate.
It is the fact that eating too much is as detrimental as smoking,
so
the
government
should prohibit
food
product ads as they do with cigarettes. While I accept this measure could be well-founded, I believe that it is unreasonable to forbid the
advertisement of
particular
food
products.

On the one hand, it is
widely
believed that
some
particular
food
ads could
indirectly
put
people
’s health in jeopardy, like smoking. Via television channels, children
normally
watch
food
advertisements
such as McDonald and KFC, these ads
make
them tempted to consume
fast
food
instead
of healthy
food
like vegetables. In the long-term, it is possible for children to be obese,
because
fast
food
is high in
fat
and starch.
Additionally
, attractive
food
advertisements
can stimulate appetite
spontaneously
, causing symptoms of mental health.
For example
, my nephew would become aggressive and smash furniture if his mother does not
buy
junk food.

On the other hand
, I believe that there are
some
reasons why the authorities should not ban the advertising of certain
food
items.
Firstly
,
many
food
manufacturers consider that
advertisement
is the most effective measure to approach potential customers and introduce their new products in the market. If their ads
are imposed
a ban, corporate profits would
significantly
drop, causing these
companies
to be on the brink of bankruptcy.
Secondly
, banning these ads is an obvious disadvantage for consumers
because
they could not be well-informed about the products they intend to
purchase
.
Finally
, eye-catching
food
advertisements
might
help
those who suffer from anorexia consume more food.

In conclusion
, while I recognize that forbidding the advertising of specific foodstuffs would
prevent
health problems, I argue that imposing a ban on these ads is not appropriate.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Reasearch has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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