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Research shows that overeating is equally harmful to people s health as smoking therefore the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes To what extent do you agree v.2

Research shows that overeating is equally harmful to people s health as smoking therefore the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes 2
The experts say that overeating should place equal value on smoking regarding people' s well-being. It is argued that advertisements on food products have to be prohibited as cigarettes. Personally, I agree with the statement that overeating needs to be controlled to prevent future risks. It can be explained that people who eat too much are in subconscious dangers both physically and psychologically. When it comes to physical factors, it can lead to uncomfortable digestive problems such as bloating and gas when eating unhealthy foods. Furthermore, according to British Medical Centre, binge can also cause to bone and joint which is because excess pounds put additional pressure on your skeleton. What is more, when obesity is the result of overeating, they' re also at an increased risk for certain types of cancer and high cholesterol. They might also develop high blood pressure, which can contribute to an elevated risk of having a stroke. On the one hand, there are mental health dangers which arise from eating anything without discrimination. A large portion of their self-image and self-esteem is connected to how you feel about their looks. If people have gained extra weight from overeating, they might not feel confident about themselves. Over time, this can actually lead to depression, according to Brown University. In addition, Amount of food that a normal person eats is not satisfied their mind so that they may keep eating over and over again. A vicious cycle will happen. In conclusion, although people surely have the freedom to eat what they want, it is necessary to avoid eating too much. An appropriate amount of eating habit is encouraged to everyone.
The experts say that overeating should place equal value on smoking regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s well-being. It
is argued
that advertisements on food products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be prohibited
as cigarettes.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that overeating needs to
be controlled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who eat too much are in subconscious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
both
physically
and
psychologically
.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to physical factors, it can lead to uncomfortable digestive problems such as bloating and gas when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
unhealthy foods.
Furthermore
, according to British Medical
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
, binge can
also
cause
Did you mean "boning"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to bone
and joint which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
excess pounds put additional pressure on your skeleton.
What is more
, when obesity is the result of overeating,
Possible spelling mistake found.
they&
#039; re
also
at an increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for certain types of cancer and high cholesterol. They might
also
develop high blood pressure, which can contribute to an elevated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of having a stroke.

On the one hand, there are mental health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
which arise from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
anything without discrimination. A large portion of their self-image and self-esteem
is connected
to how you feel about their looks. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have gained extra weight from overeating, they might not feel confident about themselves. Over time, this can actually lead to depression, according to Brown University.
In addition
, Amount of food that a normal person eats is not satisfied their mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
over and over again. A vicious cycle will happen.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surely
have the freedom to eat what they want, it is necessary to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
too much. An appropriate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habit
is encouraged
to everyone.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Research shows that overeating is equally harmful to people s health as smoking therefore the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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