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The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 3
In today's world, alongside the internet development, the more people find the convenience of online shopping so there has been the decrease in high street shops that maybe come to the end of the traditional market. In my opinion, I somewhat agree with that critic. There are some advantages of e-commerce, especially for the youth and adults who are still working. The first is fast payment: we can buy immediately what you need, just with some click on the website. Thus we do not need to cost more time to go out shopping. The second is on-the-budget price: it is easy to compare the prices of all sellers and make a reasonable choice. The third is this kind of shopping habits will help other economy sectors develop, such as small private companies' products those cannot join in the racks in the malls or supermarkets; e-banking (internet banking) and even e-money (electric money). Besides, there still exist some limits of it: lack of exact items when receiving the products, the delay in delivery and the quality control in some special goods. For example, A buys a board game expected in 3 days, but receives playing cards after 7 days. The results are approximately one third population still come to the high street shops and the old's shopping behaviours do not change much for years. Although the government opens the new technology in shopping, they do not restrict new malls and supermarkets. In contrast, the small street shops may become an online ones for their profits. After all, that leads to the equal opportunity for both kinds of market and the buyers will be the most beneficial because of the competition of the economy.
In
today
's world, alongside the internet development, the more
people
find the convenience of online
shopping
so
there has been the decrease in high street shops that maybe
come
to the
end
of the traditional market. In my opinion, I somewhat
agree
with that critic.

There are
some
advantages of e-commerce,
especially
for the youth and adults who are
still
working. The
first
is
fast
payment: we can
buy
immediately what you need,
just
with
some
click on the website.
Thus
we do not need to cost more time to go out
shopping
. The second is on-the-budget price: it is easy to compare the prices of all sellers and
make
a reasonable choice. The third is this kind of
shopping
habits will
help
other economy sectors develop, such as
small
private
companies
' products those cannot
join
in the racks in the malls or supermarkets; e-banking (internet banking) and even e-money (electric money).

Besides
, there
still
exist
some
limits of it: lack of exact items when receiving the products, the delay in delivery and the quality control in
some
special
goods
.
For example
, A
buys
a board game
expected
in 3 days,
but
receives playing cards after 7 days. The results
are
approximately one third
population
still
come
to the high street shops and the
old
's
shopping
behaviours
do not
change
much for years.

Although the
government
opens the new technology in
shopping
, they do not restrict new malls and supermarkets.
In contrast
, the
small
street shops may become an online
ones
for their profits.
After all
, that leads to the equal opportunity for both kinds of market and the buyers will be the most beneficial
because
of the competition of the economy.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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