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The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 2
In the last ten years, the number of shopping transactions carried out online has increased dramatically. However. despite this growth. I do not believe there is any reason to believe that traditional shops are under threat in any way. First, online retailers are not actually that much cheaper than traditional shops once you factor in all the extra costs. Some people predict the death of the high street because shops like Amazon and Alibaba often sell goods more cheaply than traditional retailers. While this may sometimes be true, I would argue that after you have added the cost of shipping. there is often very little difference in price between the two. Furthermore, if you need to return the goods for some reason, then you may be liable for the cost of re-shipping the item back to the supplier and, hence, you could actually end up being out of pocket. Another factor is convenience. Although it is undeniable that ordering from home is more comfortable than going to a shopping centre, very often when consumers purchase items, they generally need to use them right away. This is particularly true of every day items such as food and household goods. If there is the choice between walking 10 minutes to a store, or waiting 24 hours for delivery. then the local store will always win. Finally, online retailers can never offer the same retail experience as shops. When you buy online, you have to rely on the accuracy of either a written description or a photo to make your purchasing choice. Obviously, this cannot compare to the experience of entering a shop and physically seeing and touching the product. For instance, no computer programme can replicate the feeling of actually trying on a shirt to see how it fits. Moreover, people still tend to like being helped in their decision-making processes by a shop assistant, especially when they are buying expensive electrical items that may be confusing to operate and understand. In conclusion, the fact that high street shop are no more expensive than their online equivalents, and they offer a better in-shop experience means I believe that they are in no danger of disappearing soon.
In the last ten years, the number of shopping transactions carried out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has increased
dramatically
.
However
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
despite
this growth. I do not believe there is any reason to believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are under threat in any way.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retailers are not actually that much cheaper than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
once you factor in all the extra costs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
predict the death of the high street
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
like Amazon and Alibaba
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
more
cheaply
than traditional retailers. While this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be true, I would argue that after you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
the cost of shipping.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference in price between the two.
Furthermore
, if you need to return the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason, then you may be liable for the cost of re-shipping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
back to the supplier and,
hence
, you could actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
out of pocket
.

Another factor is convenience. Although it is undeniable that ordering from home is more comfortable than going to a shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
when consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, they
generally
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them right away. This is
particularly
true of every day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as food and household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. If there is the choice between walking 10 minutes to a store, or waiting 24 hours for delivery.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
the local store will always win.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retailers can never offer the same retail experience as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on the accuracy of either a written description or a photo to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your purchasing choice.
Obviously
, this cannot compare to the experience of entering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and
physically
seeing and touching the product.
For instance
, no computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
can replicate the feeling of actually trying on a shirt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it fits.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
tend to like being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in their decision-making processes by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
assistant,
especially
when they are buying expensive electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that may be confusing to operate and understand.

In conclusion
, the fact that high street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
are no more expensive than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
equivalents, and they offer a better in-shop experience means I believe that they are in no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of disappearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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