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The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 6
Shopping is an act of joy and happiness for people of all ages and gender. With the advancement of technology and access to internet, Online shopping has made this much easier for the buyers without even stepping out of the homes. It is often argued that the end result of internet shopping would result in a major loss for the street shops. Though there is a slight possibility of this happening, however I do not agree completely. Firstly, online shopping saves time by bringing a variety of options on a single platform unlike street shops. There is no need to travel and check out different stores in extreme weather conditions, especially for people who do not find time to go and shop due to the busy schedules at work. Secondly, it is much easier to compare or customise the designs, colours, cost along with the option of returning if there is a change of mind or difference in size. It is a good option for the local designers to reach a wide range of customers without investing in setting up a physical shop that includes a lot of money. Even the street fashion is a trending thing on the internet where people, especially look for designs of a specific place or culture. Lastly, there is more diversity in online shopping where people do not have to restrict themselves to shop within their region or nation. Shipping provides a much simplified user experience by delivering products to our homes. This provides high streets an opportunity to reach the other end of the country instead of confining themselves to the streets. On the contrary, the concept of online shopping might be a nightmare for few where the expectations do not meet the reality. Putting aside the option of refunds and returns, it is a discouragement for a customer to wait eagerly and to be left with disappointment. Although the intention is to provide a user friendly customer experience, the technical issues, poor quality of the products and slow delivery highlights the inefficiency and negligence. Companies like Amazon and E-bay are achieving massive profits where as the local designers and other stakeholders are receiving limited profits. In summary, It is important to supervise the hierarchy of processing of products from the buyer to the seller for the benefit of all business groups. In my opinion, online shopping has a high potential to support the high street shops unless it is profit-oriented.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
is an act of joy and happiness for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages and gender. With the advancement of technology and access to internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has made this much easier for the buyers without even stepping out of the homes. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
would result in a major loss for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. Though there is a slight possibility of this happening,
however
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
saves time by bringing a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
on a single platform unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. There is no need to travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stores in extreme weather conditions,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not find time to go and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
due to the busy schedules at work.
Secondly
, it is much easier to compare or
Possible spelling mistake. 'customise' is British English.
customise
the designs,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, cost along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
of returning if there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of mind or difference in size. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
for the local designers to reach a wide range of customers without investing in setting up a physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
that includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. Even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
fashion is a trending thing on the internet where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
look for designs of a specific place or culture.
Lastly
, there is more diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
restrict themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
within their region or nation. Shipping provides a much simplified user experience by delivering products to our homes. This provides high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
an opportunity to reach the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the country
instead
of confining themselves to the streets.

On the contrary
, the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
might be a nightmare for few where the expectations do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the reality. Putting aside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
of refunds and returns, it is a discouragement for a customer to wait
eagerly
and to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with disappointment. Although the intention is to provide a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
user friendly
customer experience, the technical issues, poor quality of the products and slow delivery highlights the inefficiency and negligence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
like Amazon and E-bay are achieving massive profits
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
the local designers and other stakeholders are receiving limited profits.

In summary, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to supervise the hierarchy of processing of products from the buyer to the seller for the benefit of all business groups. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has a high potential to support the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
unless it is profit-oriented.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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