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in some areas of the US a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on that? v.18

in some areas of the US a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on that? v. 18
In some areas of the US, teenagers are needed to be indoors after a particular time at night as a 'curfew' is imposed. If at all they go out, they are required to be accompanied by an adult. I think it is totally justified looking at the safety of the teenagers who are vulnerable to anti-social activities. In some areas of the US, the crime rate is at peak at night. The drug dealers are active on the streets of some areas. If a teenager moves on the road alone, he becomes a soft target for them and they try to befriend him and out of curiosity, the teen might fall prey to the traffickers. But the presence of an adult would dissuade them in approaching the teen. The alcohol and drug consumption of common and with peer pressure, they might engage in these acts. The nights are hub for many terror acts and smuggling and there are cases of sexual assaults too. So, it is important for a naive teenager to remain indoors to protect themselves from the activities that occur under the cover of dark. There are accident prone zones with the rush of heavy vehicles in some areas. With the adult accompanying a child, they can protect them from accidental hazards. In the US, shootouts by juvenile are quite common in restaurants and clubs. The safety of a child is of paramount importance for a parent. So it is not sensible to be out of doors late at night. I would strongly opine that looking these many factors, staying outdoors would compromise the safety of teenagers. It will protect them from befriending with the rebellion groups. So, a 'curfew' if rightfully justified.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the US,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are needed
to be indoors after a particular time at night as a 'curfew'
is imposed
. If at all they go out, they
are required
to
be accompanied
by an adult. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
totally
justified looking at the safety of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who are vulnerable to anti-social activities.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the US, the crime rate is at peak at night. The drug dealers are active on the streets of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
on the road alone, he becomes a soft target for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they try to befriend him and out of curiosity, the teen might fall prey to the traffickers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the presence of an adult would dissuade them in approaching the teen. The alcohol and drug consumption of common and with peer pressure, they might engage in these acts. The nights are hub for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
terror acts and smuggling and there are cases of sexual assaults too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a naive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
to remain indoors to protect themselves from the activities that occur under the cover of dark.

There are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
accident prone
zones with the rush of heavy vehicles in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. With the adult accompanying a child, they can protect them from accidental hazards. In the US, shootouts by juvenile are quite common in restaurants and clubs. The safety of a child is of paramount importance for a parent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not sensible to be out of doors late at night.

I would
strongly
opine that looking these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors, staying outdoors would compromise the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. It will protect them from befriending with the rebellion groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a 'curfew' if
rightfully
justified.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay in some areas of the US a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on that? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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