Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions. v.4

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. v. 4
Nowadays, the development of technology has increased rapidly and to a great extent that the whole world cannot survive without this. However, some people believe that the technology has widened the gap between the rich and the poor, while others argue that closeness between these people are growing. This essay discusses both the viewpoints. On one hand, with the advancements in automation there are many things which cannot be afforded by various groups of people. For instance, the minimum cost of an iPhone is around 25000, which is not affordable by middle- and low-class people, while the affluent people can buy these products. However, apart from mobiles there are many medicines and treatments which could be costly, but the poverty-stricken people cannot pay for such drugs. Moreover, due to the advancements there are many impoverished people who are losing their lives, because the medication was not given within the correct time. For example, many young children in my country who are affected by deadly diseases are dying because they are poor and cannot pay high prices for their treatment. On the other hand, this elevation in mechanization and computers has been a boon to all the classes of people who are living, because many top organisations whose primary priority are their customers rather than cost. Although, there are many electronic gadgets, medicines which has their prices in peaks, but there are other brands of products which are serving similar facilities to satisfy the people. For example, the internet cannot be afforded by many people, but the Wi-Fi which is available at railway stations, bus stops and also airports is very much helpful to the local public. In conclusion, according to my viewpoint, the technology has broken the bridge between high -and low -class people to a great extent that presently all the people are enjoying all the facilities that they require.
Nowadays, the development of technology has increased
rapidly
and to a great extent that the whole world cannot survive without this.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the technology has widened the gap between the rich and the poor, while others argue that closeness between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are growing. This essay discusses both the viewpoints.

On one hand, with the advancements in automation there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which cannot
be afforded
by various groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, the minimum cost of an iPhone is around 25000, which is not affordable by middle- and low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while the affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these products.
However
, apart from mobiles there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medicines and treatments which could be costly,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot pay for such drugs.
Moreover
, due to the advancements there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are losing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the medication was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
within the correct time.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young children in my country who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by deadly diseases are dying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are poor and cannot pay high prices for their treatment.

On the other hand
, this elevation in mechanization and computers has been a boon to all the classes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
top
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
whose primary priority are their customers
rather
than cost. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic gadgets, medicines which has their prices in peaks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are other brands of products which are serving similar facilities to satisfy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the internet cannot
be afforded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the Wi-Fi which is available at railway stations, bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
and
also
airports is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much helpful to the local public.

In conclusion
, according to my viewpoint, the technology has broken the bridge between high -and low -
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a great extent that
presently
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying all the facilities that they require.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts