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The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor Others think it has an opposite effect Discuss both views and give opinions v.1

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor Others think it has an opposite effect 1
There are different views about how today' s advanced technology can affect people' s lives in terms of social level. While some argue that this affect is more towards to make an increasingly social gap between individuals, in my view, technology has been remarkably blurred the differences. To begin with, there are several reasons behind considering modern technology as a key factor leading to make inequality. First of all, the latest modern facilities are such expensive that just minority of people in a society can afford them. Smart houses exclusively constructed according to their owner' s requests are the living proof of an unachievable high-tech service for public. Another example is automatic cars which are much more costly than manual one. It is evident that not only are these advanced luxury devices extremely convenient, but also they are completely safe in comparison to usual one which is affordable for average people. This is the point that social gap demonstrates itself. However, in spite of these arguments, it is undeniable that applicable technologies are wildly accessible for public. In fact, the most effective and necessary advanced gadgets are made as if they are usable for majority of people; weather they are privileged or not. Mobile phone, as a clear example, used to be considered as luxury equipment which just wealthy people could purchase it. However, today hardly can we find a person not having a smart phone, thanks to the technology progression. In addition, no matter how much is people' s income, they have access to the Internet to take its advantages. As a result, level of social awareness among people belonging to various classes has been closed gradually. In conclusion, although it seems that high-tech services lead to inequality, I am of the opinion that practical technology assist whole society to eliminate class distinctions.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can affect
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
level. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this affect is more towards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
increasingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gap between individuals, in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been
remarkably
blurred the differences.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons behind considering modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as a key factor leading to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
inequality.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the latest modern facilities are such expensive that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a society can afford them. Smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
exclusively constructed according to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
owner&
#039; s requests are the living proof of an unachievable high-tech service for public. Another example is automatic cars which are much more costly than manual one. It is evident that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are these advanced luxury devices
extremely
convenient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are completely safe
in comparison
to usual one which is affordable for average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is the point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gap demonstrates itself.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
these arguments, it is undeniable that applicable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
wildly
accessible for public. In fact, the most effective and necessary advanced gadgets
are made
as if they are usable for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; weather they
are privileged
or not. Mobile phone, as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be considered
as luxury equipment which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
hardly can we find a person not having a smart phone, thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
progression.
In addition
, no matter how much is
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s income, they have access to the Internet to take its advantages.
As a result
, level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belonging to various classes has
been closed
gradually
.

In conclusion
, although it seems that high-tech services lead to inequality, I am of the opinion that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
assist whole society to eliminate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
distinctions.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor Others think it has an opposite effect 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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