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The quality of the health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of healthcare for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The quality of the health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of healthcare for all its citizens. v. 2
Health quality is a basic need for people in all societies, regardless their financial statuses and their economic that governments are responsible for providing enough well-being, responsibility amenities for all of its citizens no matter how wealthy they are. I totally agree with that politics should offer health care services for all people in different fiscal level as well-being its a significant factor for every person. First of all, caring of people’s health is an essential necessity in all countries that governments are responsible for offering health services to people because health care is one of the most important aspects of people’s life; additionally, the benefit of well-being responsibility is the right of all citizens poor or rich no differently. For example, in my country Iran regime provide far better wellness facilities, treatment and diagnosis in private hospitals for rich people. Consequently, all the citizens are equal to benefit from healthiness facilities. On the other hand, well-being is a vital issue in countries that government notices to health care of people in society; as said, “healthy mind is in a healthy body”. Therefore, is so important people are in a healthy status in their life. For instance, in Japan authorities supply equal wellness support to everyone, special carefulness of senior citizens more than other people; as a result, the Japanese government prevents their public from mortality and increases their country’s efficiency beside life expectancy. Furthermore, health responsibility is independent of monetary and economic status in a community. To summarize, providing health care for people in an association is a right of all people and ensuring quality health care facilities to all the citizens of a country. Hence, supporting physical and mental strength of residents of the country is a responsibility that no government can deny.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
quality is a basic need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all societies, regardless their financial statuses and their economic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
amenities for all of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
no matter how wealthy they are. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that politics should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fiscal level as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a significant factor for every person.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, caring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is an essential necessity in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life;
additionally
, the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is the right of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
poor or rich no
differently
.
For example
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Iran regime provide far better wellness facilities, treatment and diagnosis in private hospitals for rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Consequently
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are equal to benefit from healthiness facilities.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
is a vital issue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
notices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society; as said, “healthy mind is in a healthy body”.
Therefore
, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a healthy status in their life.
For instance
, in Japan authorities supply equal wellness support to everyone, special carefulness of senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
as a result
, the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
their public from mortality and increases their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
efficiency beside life expectancy.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is independent of monetary and economic status in a community.

To summarize
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in an association is a right of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and ensuring quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Hence
, supporting physical and mental strength of residents of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can deny.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The quality of the health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of healthcare for all its citizens. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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