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The qualities or skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or any other academic institution. Top what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The qualities or skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or any other academic institution. Top what extent v. 1
Whether government or individuals should fund higher study has become a controversial issue. While some individuals consider that it is the responsibility of the governing bodies, other argue that an individual must be able to meet his study expenses. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in depth. I, however, opine that governments should allocate certain funds for professional degrees. According to the first view, it is the onus on the authorities to provide help to the people for their tertiary study. Since there are innumerable students who are living below the poverty line and their parents cannot afford to pay plenty of money to the educational institutions, therefore in order to reduce the burden from the parents' shoulders, it is quite essential to fund the students' education. For instance, in my country, India, where there are thousands of people residing in poverty, the state is providing scholarships to the economically backward students. In short, for the continuous development and progress of the nation administration must allow funds to those who are pursuing higher education. On the contrary, a vast majority of people are in favour of the perspective that it is the personal responsibility to earn money instead of depending on the government. They might think that it helps in making a better and responsible citizen. Because if a person earn for a living, then he will be able to interact with the social world, which in turn, enhances the knowledge. To cite an example, students who pursue jobs during their studies get more grades than their peers who do not work part-time jobs while pursuing an education. . Thus it is appropriate to let the students bear their expenditure so that they can be made aware about the entire society. To conclude, although society is divided on the issue of allocating funds by the ruling bodies, I personally consider that for university courses such as Bachelor and Master degrees an individual should give fees, but for professional degrees, such as, PhD, government should be held responsible. In the above paragraphs contrasting views of distinct sections have been discussed.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
has become a controversial issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
consider that it is the responsibility of the governing bodies, other argue that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
expenses. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in depth. I,
however
, opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should allocate certain funds for professional degrees.

According to the
first
view, it is the onus on the authorities to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Since there are innumerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living below the poverty line and their parents cannot afford to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money to the educational institutions,
therefore
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden from the parents' shoulders, it is quite essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
the students' education.
For instance
, in my country, India, where there are thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing in poverty, the state is providing scholarships to the
economically
backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In short, for the continuous development and progress of the nation administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
funds to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are pursuing higher education.

On the contrary
, a vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the perspective that it is the personal responsibility to earn money
instead
of depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in making a better and responsible citizen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if a person earn for a living, then he will be able to interact with the social world, which in turn, enhances the knowledge. To cite an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pursue jobs during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more grades than their peers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not work part-time jobs while pursuing an education.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is appropriate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
bear their expenditure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be made
aware about the entire society.

To conclude
, although society
is divided
on the issue of allocating funds by the ruling bodies, I
personally
consider that for university courses such as Bachelor and Master degrees an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should give fees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for professional degrees, such as, PhD,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
be held
responsible. In the above paragraphs contrasting views of distinct sections have
been discussed
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The qualities or skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or any other academic institution. Top what extent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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