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Governments should spend more money on railways than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Governments should spend more money on railways than roads. with this statement? v. 1
Students study various subjects to enhance their understanding about different areas of life. History is one of them, which provides us knowledge about our past. Some people believe that history must be taught in schools, whereas, others think that the priority should be given to the subjects like Science and Technology. I will discuss both the views and conclude my opinion in this essay. On one hand, the reasons that students should study history in school are apparent. First and foremost, it is essential to learn about the evolution of national ideology. For example, in America, students have the chance to learn about the ideas of American exceptionalism, liberty and the responsibility of citizens through the history classes. By knowing the context in which these ideas emerged, students can become adults with well-informed political beliefs and it will be more difficult for unscrupulous politicians make false assertions about the past. Moreover, studying history also educates us about the causes of sufferings we had in the past. This knowledge can help us avoid those mistakes in the future. It is generally believed that the roots of the present and future are always linked to the past. Hence, we cannot ignore the importance of the past to create a better future. On the other hand, the practical science and technology are also vital because these are more likely to have an impact on a future careerfuture career. Nowadays, very few students will end up with careers in history, as historians, but a large percentage will become chemists and computer scientists. Considering that schools have to help students increase their chances of getting decent jobs, it is reasonable to emphasize the importance of science and technology. Furthermore, studying science allows people to improve their living conditions. For instance, science makes contributions in different fields from medicine to space. Because of this kind of knowledge, humankind has opportunities to watch TV, to surf the Internet and to play computer games, which cannot be developed by just memorizing the historical stories. In conclusion, it seems to me that History and Science and Technology are equally significant so that students can better comprehend the world and have advanced skills to alter the world at the same time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
study various subjects to enhance their understanding about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is one of them, which provides us knowledge about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
in schools, whereas, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the priority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the subjects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
. I will discuss both the views and conclude my opinion in this essay.

On one hand, the reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in school are apparent.
First
and foremost, it is essential to learn about the evolution of national ideology.
For example
, in America,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the chance to learn about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of American exceptionalism, liberty and the responsibility of citizens through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
classes. By knowing the context in which these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
emerged,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can become adults with well-informed political beliefs and it will be more difficult for unscrupulous politicians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
false assertions about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Moreover
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
also
educates us about the causes of sufferings we had in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. This knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us avoid those mistakes in the future. It is
generally
believed that the roots of the present and future are always linked to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Hence
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
to create a better future.

On the other hand
, the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are
also
vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are more likely to have an impact on a future
Possible spelling mistake found.
careerfuture
career. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with careers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, as historians,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a large percentage will become chemists and computer scientists. Considering that schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
increase their chances of getting decent jobs, it is reasonable to emphasize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Furthermore
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living conditions.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
contributions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields from medicine to space.
Because of this
kind of knowledge, humankind has opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, to surf the Internet and to play computer games, which cannot
be developed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
memorizing the historical stories.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are
equally
significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can better comprehend the world and have advanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to alter the world at the same time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on railways than roads. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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