Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should realise this. To what extent do you agree? v.5

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should realise this. v. 5
Owing to the phrase " Prevention is better than cure", government should promote awareness and aid in providing a clean environment for people to lead a happy and healthy life. In my opinion, our public sectors should help devise plans and allocate funds in preventing health issues caused by pollution, inorganic foods as these are the major contribution to illness. Firstly, our industries is the main reason for major diseases prevalent among individuals. For example, toxic gases like carbon monoxide releases from factories causes global warming and pollute the environment. Governments should demand factories for ways to avoid polluting environment or if the toxic emission in beyond the permissible level the entities should be penalized and the license should be cancelled. In addition, government should also fund for planting more number of trees and plants in order to reduce global warming. Secondly, country should allocate a major chunk of its budget for organic farming. It can fund an NGO, who will spread across the country in promoting the impact of organic farming. And public banks can provide interest free loans to farmers if they guarantee to produce staples free of man made chemicals. Because the consumption of vegetables and fruits cultivated by inorganic farming (use pesticides) causes illness. To live a healthy long life one need to consume organic staples. In conclusion, a well created plan and channelized money by governments will help in preventing health issues.
Owing to the phrase
"
Prevention is better than cure
"
,
government
should promote awareness and aid in providing a clean environment for
people
to lead a happy and healthy life. In my opinion, our public sectors should
help
devise plans and allocate funds in preventing health issues caused by pollution, inorganic foods as these are the major contribution to illness.

Firstly
, our industries is the main reason for major diseases prevalent among individuals.
For example
, toxic gases like carbon monoxide releases from factories causes global warming and pollute the environment.
Governments
should demand factories for ways to avoid polluting environment or if the toxic emission in beyond the permissible level the entities should
be penalized
and the license should
be cancelled
.
In addition
,
government
should
also
fund for planting more number of trees and plants in order to
reduce
global warming.

Secondly
, country should allocate a major chunk of its budget for organic farming. It can fund an NGO, who will spread across the country in promoting the impact of organic farming. And public banks can provide interest free loans to farmers if they guarantee to produce staples free of
man
made chemicals.
Because
the consumption of vegetables and fruits cultivated by inorganic farming (
use
pesticides) causes illness. To
live
a healthy long life one need to consume organic staples.

In conclusion
, a well created plan and channelized money by
governments
will
help
in preventing health issues.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should realise this. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts