Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v.9

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 9
It is argued that there is no need to attend cinemas at the present time because everyone could watch films on their gadgets. At the same time other people say that only cinema could give complete satisfaction of watching films. This essay agrees with the first statement in case of using not only mobile devices for watching a content but also a TV. Some people argue that the only one way to enjoy films is watching it on the wide screen of the movie theater. Going to the cinema considered as the special event, a way of going out to spend free time with family or friends on vacation. But there are some inconveniences. For example, some people in the cinema could speak or laugh too loud and distract others or the cost of going to the cinema could be significantly larger than buying a film and watching it on the device, especially in cases when several people will watch the film. Watching movies via web services presented on almost all devices with various operating systems is much more beneficial. There is a big library of films which one could watch at any time and any place, including big TV screens and even there is an option to pause the video and watch it later in case of something. For example, services like Netflix and Amazon Video offer subscriptions to all of their content, which including the vast amount of movies and TV series for about 10 dollars per month and it could be watched both on mobile and stationary devices. In conclusion, while some people prefer going to the cinema, there is a contemporary way of watching films anywhere and at any time.
It
is argued
that there is no need to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
at the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films on their gadgets. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
could give complete satisfaction of watching films. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the
first
statement in case of using not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mobile devices for watching a content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a TV.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one way to enjoy films is watching it on the wide screen of the movie theater. Going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
considered as the special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, a way of going out to spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family or friends on vacation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inconveniences.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
could speak or laugh too loud and distract others or the cost of going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
could be
significantly
larger than buying a film and watching it on the device,
especially
in cases when several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the film.

Watching movies via web services presented on almost all devices with various operating systems is much more beneficial. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
library of films which one could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and any place, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
TV screens and even there is an option to pause the video and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it later in case of something.
For example
, services like Netflix and Amazon Video offer subscriptions to all of their content, which including the vast amount of movies and TV series for about 10 dollars per month and it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
both on mobile and stationary devices.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, there is a contemporary way of watching films anywhere and at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts