Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? v.2

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. v. 2
As a popular saying "Precaution is better than cure". Although some people believe that government should use their funds for taking precautions rather than spending on medication and treatment. In my view, taking the right prevention measure can solve most of the health illness. To begin with, there are various diseases that are caused by lack of cleanliness. It is important to maintain a high level of cleanliness in the country. With garbage spread across and bad sewage water, it becomes a breeding place for mosquitos which causes one of the most detrimental disease name malaria. Such kind of diseases can spread widely across individuals in a short span of time, which can be very detrimental to health and can also result in death of a person. In addition, in the recent times there are various countries that have been working towards cleanliness campaigns. However, the government can create awareness and hygienic standards of living it will improve the health conditions. To illustrate, in my country the government has launched a "cleanliness campaign" where it is creating awareness among the people on the importance of keeping the nation learn. Funds should be used on conducing health seminars, which would educe the individuals. To conclude, even though the government should spend some portion of its funds on the treatment and medication. However, it is vital to ensure that the public funds are being utilised to improve the hygiene levels and create awareness among citizens in order to prevent various diseases.
As
a popular saying
"
Precaution is better than cure
"
. Although
some
people
believe that
government
should
use
their funds for taking precautions
rather
than spending on medication and treatment. In my view, taking the right prevention measure can solve most of the
health
illness.

To
begin
with, there are various
diseases
that
are caused
by lack of
cleanliness
. It is
important
to maintain a high level of
cleanliness
in the country. With garbage spread across and
bad
sewage water, it becomes a breeding place for
mosquitos
which causes one of the most detrimental
disease
name malaria. Such kind of
diseases
can spread
widely
across individuals in a short span of time, which can be
very
detrimental to
health
and can
also
result in death of a person.
In addition
, in the recent times there are various countries that have been working towards
cleanliness
campaigns.

However
, the
government
can create awareness and hygienic standards of living it will
improve
the
health
conditions. To illustrate, in my country the
government
has launched a
"
cleanliness campaign
"
where it is creating awareness among the
people
on the importance of keeping the nation learn. Funds should be
used
on conducing
health
seminars, which would educe the individuals.

To conclude
,
even though
the
government
should spend
some
portion of its funds on the treatment and medication.
However
, it is vital to ensure that the public funds are being
utilised
to
improve
the hygiene levels and create awareness among citizens in order to
prevent
various
diseases
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts