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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? v.10

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. v. 10
Nowadays, It is believed by many that preventing health issues are more significant than curing them. However, many of the people do not agree with this thought. I believe in the thought of "Prevention is better than cure" and budget from the government should have some part of it. In this essay, I will throw some light on the pivotal role of good health and government authorities to prevent several ailments. Certainly, good health has paramount importance in an individual life which restrict any harm due to sickness. Firstly, It will protect us from the long-term side effects of treatments which can be more serious than the real illness it treats. Secondly, It provides you more strength to fight deadly diseases, medications can adversely affect the normal flora of good bacteria in our body. Finally, there is no sense in wasting your wallet money on treatments and medicines. For instance, even the treatment of very basic fever has a high cost in the current scenario. Although the Government normally has a budget for health care at hospitals, it should also have a well-defined budget for promoting the idea of prevention over cure. Using this budget, authorities can launch a different campaign like "Eat healthily" and "Eat in a good and clean environment" over the communication channels like internet, TV, etc. Because the awareness is more important for the society. In conclusion, I would say it is always better to protect you from any diseases than curing it later. It will add a lot of years to your lifetime.
Nowadays, It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues are more significant than curing them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. I believe in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Prevention is better than cure
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of it. In this essay, I will throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the pivotal role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
several ailments.

Certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has paramount importance in an individual life which restrict any harm due to sickness.
Firstly
, It will protect us from the long-term side effects of treatments which can be more serious than the real illness it treats.
Secondly
, It provides you more strength to fight deadly diseases, medications can
adversely
affect the normal flora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
bacteria in our body.
Finally
, there is no sense in wasting your wallet money on treatments and medicines.
For instance
, even the treatment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic fever has a high cost in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario.

Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
normally
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care at hospitals, it should
also
have a well-defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
for promoting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of prevention over cure. Using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
, authorities can launch a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
campaign like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Eat
healthily
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Eat in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and clean environment
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
over the communication channels like internet, TV, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the awareness is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the society.

In conclusion
, I would say it is always better to protect you from any diseases than curing it later. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
years to your lifetime.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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