Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. v.4

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. v. 4
In this modern era, women have created her own position and image in the society by doing the equivalent or more work than men and got the same respect as a man gets from the society. Now, women often work outside their homes as compared to the past. But, this trend creates problems for their children. To begin with, when the mothers are not at home, children face a number of problems like feeling loneliness, doing the work without the proper guidance, involvement in criminal acts and problem related to their schools and friends etc. In fact, without adult supervision they feel independent at a young age and willing to do anything. Because they know that no one is at home to teach them right and wrong. Further, they are in the phase of adolescence, in this age they feel right about any bad thing, in their life and lead to juvenile delinquency. Moreover, juvenile delinquency mostly happens among adolescents because these people are neither kids nor they are adults. Specially they have a lack of experience and knowledge about their mental, physical, social development and about society. As they are not able to understand the intentions of different people they easily get hijacked by the bad people's mentality. This makes it impossible for them to choose right or wrong and also feel pressure to do bad things. Last but not the least, most of the crimes in the world are committed by the teenagers and the crime rate done by this group is increasing day by day. In my opinion, firstly, they are not getting proper guidance from their parents as they go out for work, secondly, they are also getting influenced by other factors such as friends and act of famous stars in order to get attention of people. In conclusion, it is not necessary that, children whose mothers don't have time to be at home to supervise them, participate in the criminal act. Parents should have to make friendly relation with the children and should always support them.
In this modern era, women have created her
own
position and image in the society by doing the equivalent or more
work
than
men
and
got
the same respect as a
man
gets
from the society.
Now
, women
often
work
outside their
homes
as compared to the past.
But
, this trend creates problems for their children.

To
begin
with, when the mothers are not at home, children face a number of problems like feeling loneliness, doing the
work
without the proper guidance, involvement in criminal acts and problem related to their schools and friends etc. In fact, without adult supervision they feel independent at a young age and willing to do anything.
Because
they know that no one is at home to teach them right and
wrong
.
Further
, they are in the phase of adolescence, in this age they feel right about any
bad
thing, in their life and lead to juvenile delinquency.

Moreover
, juvenile delinquency
mostly
happens among adolescents
because
these
people
are neither
kids nor
they are adults.
Specially
they have a lack of experience and knowledge about their mental, physical, social development and about society.
As
they are not able to understand the intentions of
different
people
they
easily
get
hijacked by the
bad
people
's mentality. This
makes
it impossible for them to choose right or
wrong
and
also
feel pressure to do
bad
things.

Last
but
not the least, most of the crimes in the world
are committed
by the
teenagers
and the crime rate done by this group is increasing day by day.

In my opinion,
firstly
, they are not getting proper guidance from their parents as they go out for
work
,
secondly
, they are
also
getting influenced by other factors such as friends and act of
famous
stars in order to
get
attention of
people
.

In conclusion
, it is not necessary that, children whose mothers don't have time to be at home to supervise them, participate in the criminal act. Parents should
have to
make
friendly relation with the children and should always support them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. v. 4

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts