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The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care or their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care or their children. with this statement? v. 3
Nowadays, It can be seen that lots of women are going out to work. Women are allowed for the job these days, which was not the case in two decades back. Some people say that due to this, some women are not able to take care of their children and children are lacking in principles and disciplines, which make them an unethical person, when they grow up. However, I would disagree because it is not a woman's fault that her child become a criminal. First, even if the women go out to work, they somehow manage to find out time for their children and every mother try their best to teach their children a moral values. It is not just a responsibility of the mother to take care of her child but father's also. Most of the time children spend their time in schools and after that in coaching centre and then rest of the time in the evening, they spend their time with their parents. So, even if the women stay at home, they could not look after their child every time. Second, most of the cases have been registered against some young children and they are from those families whose mothers do not go to work. A report showed by Delhi Police is that, there has been 50 percent cases of the burglary done by young children who come from such a privileged background, where both their father and mother spend their time with their children. In conclusion, It is not right if a woman leaves everything and just takes care of her child. She also deserves a happy and her own way of life. It depends on child to child. Some children learn good habits and things, while some are more inclined towards learning bad things. So, we should not blame a woman for all this bad thing happen with children.
Nowadays, It can be
seen
that lots of
women
are going out to work.
Women
are
allowed
for the job these days, which was not the case in two decades back.
Some
people
say that due to this,
some
women
are not able to take care of their
children
and
children
are lacking in principles and disciplines, which
make
them an unethical person, when they grow up.
However
, I would disagree
because
it is not a woman's fault that her
child
become a criminal.

First
, even if the
women
go out to work, they somehow manage to find out
time
for their
children
and every
mother
try their best to teach their
children
a moral values. It is not
just
a responsibility of the
mother
to take care of her
child
but
father's
also
. Most of the
time
children
spend their
time
in schools and after that in coaching
centre
and then rest of the
time
in the evening, they spend their
time
with their parents.
So
, even if the
women
stay at home, they could not look after their
child
every time.

Second, most of the cases have
been registered
against
some
young
children and
they are from those families whose mothers do not go to work. A report
showed
by Delhi Police is that, there has been 50 percent cases of the burglary done by young
children
who
come
from such a privileged background, where both their father and
mother
spend their
time
with their children.

In conclusion
, It is not right if a woman
leaves
everything and
just
takes care of her
child
. She
also
deserves a happy and her
own
way of life. It depends on
child
to
child
.
Some
children
learn
good
habits and things, while
some
are more inclined towards learning
bad
things.
So
, we should not blame a woman for all this
bad
thing happen with
children
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care or their children. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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