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The Average Standard of People's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.12

The Average Standard of People's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. v. 12
Due to changes in the lifestyles of individuals and communties, a pessimistic view on the overall futuristic health levels is generally adopted nowadays. In my opinion, I think that the standard definition of a healthy person will indeed decline over the years, where a person of poor health in the present might be considered a relatively healthy individual in the future. Firstly, I believe that one of the main causes of lower health expectancy is the rise of mental illnesses in recent years. It is almost customary now that everyone knows a friend or a relative who is suffering from a mental condition, such as depression or anxiety disorders, which is usually associated with the stress imposed through work and education. In fact, recent research shows that about 20% of people living in western countries reported that they struggle with one or more anxiety disorders, as opposed to very lower percentages recorded in the past decades. Conseqeuntly, physical health is affected by the decline in mental health, where general symtopms of mental illnesses include: insomnia, memory loss, heart problems, and last but not least, skin damage. Therefore, it is almost obvious that the degradation of mental health will contribute to the overall lowering of health standard in the future. Furthermore, the changes experienced in work environments have forced people to change their lifestyle to a relatively less healthy one. Long work hours have left people with almost no time to cook their own meals. a trend that have resulted in a major change in dietary habits, infulenced by takeout and convenience foods, which are well known to be full of preservatives and sugars and are basically not s nutritious as home-cooked meals. In addition, the changes to the environment such as air and water pollution also contributes to the worsening of people's healtth. For example, water-borne dieseses are on the rise in developing countries and there has been no actions introduced to improve the quality of water consumed. To sum up, I believe that if health standards are to be improved in the future, major postive changes have to be made to the environment and to the lifestyles of individuals in the present. Otherwise, health standards could only get worse from this stage.
Due to
changes
in the lifestyles of individuals and
communties
, a pessimistic view on the
overall
futuristic
health
levels is
generally
adopted nowadays. In my opinion, I
think
that the
standard
definition of a healthy person will
indeed
decline over the years, where a person of poor
health
in the present might
be considered
a
relatively
healthy individual in the future.

Firstly
, I believe that one of the main causes of lower
health
expectancy is the rise of
mental
illnesses in recent years. It is almost customary
now
that everyone knows a friend or a relative who is suffering from a
mental
condition, such as depression or anxiety disorders, which is
usually
associated with the
stress
imposed through work and education. In fact, recent research
shows
that about 20% of
people
living in western countries reported that they struggle with one or more anxiety disorders, as opposed to
very
lower percentages recorded in the past decades.
Conseqeuntly
, physical
health
is
affected
by the decline in
mental
health
, where general
symtopms
of
mental
illnesses include: insomnia, memory loss, heart problems, and last
but
not least, skin damage.
Therefore
, it is almost obvious that the degradation of
mental
health
will contribute to the
overall
lowering of
health
standard
in the future.

Furthermore
, the
changes
experienced in work environments have forced
people
to
change
their lifestyle to a
relatively
less healthy one. Long work hours have
left
people
with almost no time to cook their
own
meals.
a
trend that have resulted in a major
change
in dietary habits,
infulenced
by takeout and convenience foods, which are well known to be full of preservatives and sugars and are
basically
not s nutritious as home-cooked meals.
In addition
, the
changes
to the environment such as air and water pollution
also
contributes to the worsening of
people
's
healtth
.
For example
, water-borne
dieseses
are on the rise in
developing countries
and there has been no actions introduced to
improve
the quality of water consumed.

To sum up, I believe that if
health
standards
are to be
improved
in the future, major
postive
changes
have to
be made
to the environment and to the lifestyles of individuals in the present.
Otherwise
,
health
standards
could
only
get
worse from this stage.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The Average Standard of People's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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