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The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. v.10

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. v. 10
Gender equality being the buzzword today, the position of women has undergone a sea change in all dimensions of life from the last couple of decades. It is a widely undeniable fact that majority of women now work and are becoming a mitigating factor when it comes to child-rearing at home. Now the question arises, on this trend being the main cause attributing to the increase in juvenile crime rates? In my opinion, married women being employed could be one among the many reasons involved in adolescent delinquencies and I would like to take a via media approach to this moot issue. First, aspect to be discoursed in this context would be the mammoth change in the status of woman since last years. This change has had its influence on all social, economic and political spheres of life. In the present scenario, a predominance of employed female common partners is justified to some extent, because of the emergence of the new world economic order, globalisation. They play an imperative role in the society, unlike the past. Moreover, there are more female political figures than ever before on a worldwide perspective. The fact remains certain that children of employed women are not well reared compared to their counterparts. Most of these children are forced to spend a major part of their formative periods with the babysitters or in kindergartens. Once grown up, they establish bonds with other people or students from different walks of life.   Unattended or left alone, it is these bonds that become detrimental for them in future. The rate of adolescent crime rates and delinquencies are on an ever increase since last few years. Most of the cases when transacted meticulously portray the absence of motherly care and diligence in the upbringing of the child. Another fascinating thing would be that a majority of such children are from families where both parents work. According to various studies conducted by the panel of experts world over concise that whether employed or unemployed it is the carefree maternal attitude being the eminent reason behind the issue. From the objective analysis on the above discourse, my conscientious allows me to conclude that irrelevant of being employed or not, it is the quality of maternal care during the formative period that should be accounted for the future prospective of one’s sibling.
Gender equality being the buzzword
today
, the position of
women
has undergone a sea
change
in all dimensions of life from the last couple of decades. It is a
widely
undeniable fact that majority of
women
now
work and are becoming a mitigating factor when it
comes
to child-rearing at home.
Now
the question arises, on this trend being the main cause attributing to the increase in juvenile crime rates? In my opinion, married
women
being
employed
could be one among the
many
reasons involved in adolescent delinquencies and I would like to take a via media approach to this moot issue.

First
, aspect to
be discoursed
in this context would be the mammoth
change
in the status of woman since last years. This
change
has had its influence on all social, economic and political spheres of life. In the present scenario, a predominance of
employed
female common partners
is justified
to
some
extent,
because
of the emergence of the new world economic order,
globalisation
. They play an imperative role in the society, unlike the past.
Moreover
, there are more female political figures than ever
before
on a worldwide perspective.

The fact remains certain that children of
employed
women
are not well reared compared to their counterparts. Most of these children
are forced
to spend a major part of their formative periods with the babysitters or in kindergartens. Once grown up, they establish bonds with other
people
or students from
different
walks of life.
 
Unattended or
left
alone, it is these bonds that become detrimental for them
in future
.

The rate of adolescent crime rates and delinquencies are on an ever increase since last few years. Most of the cases when transacted
meticulously
portray the absence of
motherly
care and diligence in the upbringing of the child. Another fascinating thing would be that a majority of such children are from families where both parents work. According to various studies conducted by the panel of experts world over concise that whether
employed
or unemployed it is the carefree maternal attitude being the eminent reason behind the issue.

From the objective analysis on the above discourse, my conscientious
allows
me
to conclude
that irrelevant of being
employed
or not, it is the quality of maternal care during the formative period that should
be accounted
for the future prospective of one’s sibling.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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