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Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, governments pay partly or all education fees. v.10

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, governments pay partly or all education fees. v. 10
In recent year, there is a growing consideration for the government in term of child education, particularly payment for their tuition fees. Although this policy brings certain drawbacks, I believe that the benefits are much greater. On the one hand, the policy of free education charge may place a dramatic burden on the national budget. The government may have to pour money in education, therefore financial fund could have not enough for other sectors such as infrastructure and medical care, which may hold the economy back from development. In addition, some taxpayers who live alone or do not have children may feel unfair because their money is likely spent for sake of others, not for theirs. However, I would argue that the benefit of free of tuition fee should be more considered. First, among these is studying is definitely encouraged, which lead to the reduction of the illiteracy rate. As a result, the children who go to school will have more chance to find a job, and they would be the future workforce for the country. Take Singapore as an example, they have sponsored education fee for their young generation, which encourages them to go to schools or universities, this is reasons why Singapore has a high qualified manpower contributing for their development. Another significant advantage is that family may not be worried about financial burden because of high education fee, and they would have more money to take care nutrition and health care for their children. In conclusion, it seems to me that free charge of education would bring more benefits than its disadvantage.
In recent year, there is a growing consideration for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in term of child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
particularly
payment for their tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
. Although this policy brings certain drawbacks, I believe that the benefits are much greater.

On the one hand, the policy of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
charge may place a dramatic burden on the national budget. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pour money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
therefore
financial fund could have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for other sectors such as infrastructure and medical care, which may hold the economy back from development.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
taxpayers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone or do not have children may feel unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their money is likely spent for sake of others, not for theirs.

However
, I would argue that the benefit of free of tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
should be more considered.
First
, among
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
studying is definitely encouraged, which lead to the reduction of the illiteracy rate.
As a result
, the children who go to school will have more chance to find a job, and they would be the future workforce for the country. Take Singapore as an example, they have sponsored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
for their young generation, which encourages them to go to schools or universities, this is reasons why Singapore has a high qualified manpower contributing for their development. Another significant advantage is that family may not
be worried
about financial burden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
, and they would have more money to take care nutrition and health care for their children.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that free charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would bring more benefits than its disadvantage.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, governments pay partly or all education fees. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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