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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.23

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 23
Increasing numbers of people have already become fond of travelling all over the world and the trend continues to be evident even during these recent times. Travelling has become a hobby among different individuals regardless of age, sex and race. Some people believe that increased travelling nowadays is because of many reasons including better communication and technological advancement and benefits of travelling to travellers are huge. To begin with, one of the major reasons why travellers these days are motivated to travel different places is because of increasing opportunities and demands abroad. In abroad, people can visit their countries of choices to study as international students, work as a professional passionately and the appealing part of grabbing to become future immigrants because of the various benefits they will inherit compared to their country of origin. For example, my aunt decided to work as a licensed nurse in the USA and due to her undying hardworking attitude, she successfully submitted complete credentials and passed exams required for professional registration. Another reason why people travel often is that they want to get stamps in their passports whenever possible. In this way, people will have easy access of travelling to places they wanted without hesitations or difficulties. They have the least chances of being denied by the embassies after calling up for an interview. The cheap air travel, better communication system and facility to work at anyplace have also inspired people to visit more frequently. In conclusion, when people travel more, they will learn the benefits of using other languages and will develop multiculturalism in terms of values, beliefs and attitudes.
Increasing numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already become fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
all over the world and the trend continues to be evident even during these recent times.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
has become a hobby among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals regardless of age, sex and race.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
nowadays is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons including better communication and technological advancement and benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are huge.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the major reasons why
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
these days
are motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing opportunities and demands abroad. In abroad,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can visit their countries of choices to study as international students, work as a professional
passionately
and the appealing part of grabbing to become future immigrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the various benefits they will inherit compared to their country of origin.
For example
, my aunt decided to work as a licensed nurse in the USA and due to her undying hardworking attitude, she
successfully
submitted complete credentials and passed exams required for professional registration.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
is that they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stamps in their passports whenever possible. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have easy access of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to places they wanted without hesitations or difficulties. They have the least chances of
being denied
by the embassies after calling up for an interview.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, better communication system and facility to work at anyplace have
also
inspired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit more
frequently
.

In conclusion
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
more, they will learn the benefits of using other languages and will develop multiculturalism in terms of values, beliefs and attitudes.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 23

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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