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The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. v.5

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. v. 5
Even in this modern world, gender equality is a matter of discussion and debate not only in developing countries but also in developed countries. Though women came to the mainstream of societies and empowered themselves than the past, I feel that women need to go the extra mile to rub their shoulders with their opposite gender and get gender equality. Firstly, many cultural settings bring down the female participation in the key position. To be more precise, in many countries, especially in the third world, social beliefs and customs act as a barrier of female political and administrative entry. They believe that the women's main duty is bringing up the children and carry out the household chores. This concept brings about to less participation of women in the decision-making process of a community. So, women need to pull her socks up to reach a significant position from these kinds of societies. Recent UN reports reveal that the social norms are the major threat for women empowerment is the best epitome. Secondly, the less educational status of female gender interrupts gender equality. It is true that the education bridge the gap between male and female. In many nations, female education statistics is comparatively very less than their males. At this juncture, the well informed and proactive male's domain come about in all sectors. Hence, the female will be sent to the backyard of society. Moreover, educational backwardness leads to lack of confidence which cause reduces communal participation. Renowned female education backwardness countries such as Uganda and Cambodia bear up significant gender inequality among the third world is the best epitome. However, an army of people claims that the gender equality has come to reality in some developed countries. Perhaps it may be true to some degree but, it cannot be denied that the gender equality in the world will be completed only after it achieved in all over the word regardless of cast, creed and geography. Put it into the nutshell, though the women participation increased in many social settings, we cannot claim a full gender equality until women participation is in equal level in all sectors of society.
Even in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is a matter of discussion and debate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
came to the mainstream of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and empowered themselves than the past, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need to go the extra mile to rub their shoulders with their opposite gender and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
gender equality.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultural settings bring down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
in the key position. To be more precise, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, social beliefs and customs act as a barrier of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
political and administrative entry. They believe that the women's main duty is bringing up the children and carry out the household chores. This concept brings about to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the decision-making process of a community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need to pull her socks up to reach a significant position from these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
. Recent UN reports reveal that the social norms are the major threat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
empowerment is the best epitome.

Secondly
, the less educational status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
gender interrupts gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
. It is true that the education bridge the gap between male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
education statistics is
comparatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less than their males. At this juncture, the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
and proactive male's domain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
about in all sectors.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the backyard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, educational backwardness leads to lack of confidence which cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
communal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
. Renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
education backwardness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Uganda and Cambodia bear up significant gender inequality among the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is the best epitome.

However
, an army of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claims that the gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to reality in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Perhaps it may be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it cannot
be denied
that the gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
be completed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after it achieved in
Did you mean "all over the world" (=globally)?
all over the word
regardless of cast, creed and geography.

Put it into the nutshell, though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
increased in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social settings, we cannot claim a full gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
is in equal level in all sectors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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