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The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved? v.1

The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved? v. 1
Nowadays, the majority of people are frequently migrating into urban areas to access well-paying jobs as urban areas have more opportunities than rural areas. However, this has led to an overcrowding situation whereby a vast number of people are living in a small space. This essay will discuss the issues which resulted from overpopulation in cities and will offer some proper solutions. To begin with, two issues have become prominanet due to overpopulation in cities which are unemployment and urban crime. First, the problem of joblessness is the most eminent in urban areas, and it is even more elevated among educated people. According to an article published by the Guardian, it is estimated that more than half of unemployed youths around the globe live in metropolitan cities. In other words, the increasing relocation of people from rural or developing areas to urban areas is the leading cause of urban unemployment. Second, issues of lack of jobs usually lead to poetry, and this might lead to numerous social problem, one of which is urban crimes. Most of the crimes such as murder, kidnapping and robbary are reported to be more prominent in the urban vicinities. Besides, poverty-related crimes are the highest in fast-growing urban regions, and, as a result, these acts of urban crimes upset the peace and tranquility in the cities. To lessen the adverse effects of overpopulation, private investment should be encouraged to create more job opportunities. For instance, if the government grants private investments subsidies as well as facillitate their project, this might accelerate the process of job creations. Furthermore, in order to reduce urban crimes, the government should fight poverty which is the root of all evil. It can contribute to lower the cost of basic needs such as healthcare, education and public transformation. The objective here is to provide people with social services that will aid them in poverty and might deter them from committing a crime. In conclusion, overcrowding in cities has resulted in unemployment, poverty and the lack of social services. However, if the stakeholders ensured that all population within urban areas have access to adequate social services, such as jobs, education and healthcare, it might mitigate the situation.
Nowadays, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
frequently
migrating into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to access well-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have more opportunities than rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
However
, this has led to an overcrowding situation whereby a vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
space. This essay will discuss the issues which resulted from overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and will offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proper solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, two issues have become
Possible spelling mistake found.
prominanet
due to overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which are unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
First
, the problem of joblessness is the most eminent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and it is even more elevated among educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. According to an article published by the Guardian, it
is estimated
that more than half of unemployed youths around the globe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In other words
, the increasing relocation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural or developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is the leading cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
unemployment. Second, issues of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
usually
lead to poetry, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problem, one of which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as murder, kidnapping and
Possible spelling mistake found.
robbary
are reported
to be more prominent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Possible spelling mistake found.
vicinities
.
Besides
, poverty-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are the highest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
regions, and,
as a result
, these acts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
upset the peace and tranquility in the cities.

To lessen the adverse effects of overpopulation, private investment should
be encouraged
to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
For instance
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants private investments subsidies
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facillitate
their project, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
accelerate the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creations.
Furthermore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should fight poverty which is the root of all evil. It can contribute to lower the cost of basic needs such as healthcare, education and public transformation. The objective here is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
services that will aid them in poverty and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
deter them from committing a crime.

In conclusion
, overcrowding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has resulted in unemployment, poverty and the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
services.
However
, if the stakeholders ensured that all population within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have access to adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
services, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, education and healthcare, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
mitigate the situation.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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