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Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into University difficult. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into University difficult. v. 4
It is often argued that students are finding difficult to get into universities, irrespective of their financial status. This essay disagrees with the suggestion because it ignores the background and upbringing situation of less affluent individuals. This essay will look into some of the factors that make it difficult for people with less means to into universities. Poor families do not have access to private education, as opposed to families with affluent background. Rich families can afford to send their children to private schools which have better resources to educate and train their pupil. Whereas families with limited resources usually settle on public schools where their children receive sub-par or inadequate education. For example, private schools would spend resources on physical and mental training of their pupil as well as their interpersonal skill, in contrast, public school, due to their limited resources, only focus on the academic training of their pupil. Students from affluent backgrounds also enjoy the leisure of exposure of their liking, whereas students from less fortunate families spend their free time either saving money by staying home or making money by working part-time. Students from affluent background have exposure to a lot of extracurricular activities which helps them discover their strengths and weaknesses early on in their lives, while individuals from poor families would spend their time working part-time jobs to save money for their education or supporting their families. For example, an individual from high net worth family would spend time exploring Europe or Africa to prepare for their lives ahead of time, an individual from a low net worth family would be working a minimum wage job in Mc-Donald’s to support their upcoming university expenditures. In conclusion people with lower levels of socioeconomic classes find it much more difficult to find their way into universities, even when they have the same academic aptitude just because the people with levels of society were able to afford better education and exposure towards life at the beginning.
It is
often
argued that students are finding difficult to
get
into universities, irrespective of their financial status. This essay disagrees with the suggestion
because
it
ignores
the
background
and upbringing situation of less
affluent
individuals
. This essay will look into
some of the
factors that
make
it difficult for
people
with
less
means to into universities.

Poor
families
do not have access to private
education
, as opposed to
families
with
affluent
background
. Rich
families
can afford to
send
their children to private
schools
which have better resources to educate and train their pupil. Whereas
families
with limited resources
usually
settle on public
schools
where their children receive sub-par or inadequate
education
.
For example
, private
schools
would
spend
resources on physical and mental training of their pupil
as well
as their interpersonal
skill
,
in contrast
, public
school
, due to their limited resources,
only
focus on the academic training of their pupil.

Students from
affluent
backgrounds
also
enjoy the leisure of exposure of their liking, whereas students from less fortunate
families
spend
their free
time
either saving money by staying home or making money by working part-time. Students from
affluent
background
have exposure to
a lot of
extracurricular activities which
helps
them discover their strengths and weaknesses early on in their
lives
, while
individuals
from poor
families
would
spend
their
time
working part-time jobs to save money for their
education
or supporting their
families
.
For example
, an
individual
from high net worth
family
would
spend
time
exploring Europe or Africa to prepare for their
lives
ahead of
time
, an
individual
from a low net worth
family
would be working a minimum wage job in
Mc-Donald
’s to support their upcoming university expenditures.

In conclusion
people
with lower levels of socioeconomic classes find it much more difficult to find their way into universities, even when they have the same academic aptitude
just
because
the
people
with levels of society were able to afford better
education
and exposure towards life at the beginning.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into University difficult. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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