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Some people feel that boarding school (where students live at the school during the term) are excellent option for children, while other people disagree. Consider both side of the debate and reach a conclusion. v.1

Some people feel that boarding school (where students live at the school during the term) are excellent option for children, while other people disagree. Consider both side of the debate and reach a conclusion. v. 1
The type of school become for children education become an argumentation topic for the parent. Some people believe that boarding school is better than day school, while the others opposing it. This essay will discuss the view and give a concluding view. In the one hand, those who support the idea that boarding school is a remarkable choice for child education see that it has a major benefit to building up independence in children. For instance, children who are living in the dormitory doing their domestic chores such as washing, ironing, and cleaning by themselves. Secondly, boarding school has complete facilities to enhance student academic performance such as additional lesson and out-off class coaching sessions. Moreover, living apart from family could develop student character. For example, It would develop them to be hard work, honesty, respect youngsters. On the other hand, the opponents of this view feel that boarding school is expensive. The parents have to pay more expense such as accommodation and extra facilities fees. Furthermore, it could also difficult for the student to adapt to a new environment which is difference with their home. This would impact children such as increased stress level and for some extent will make pupil lose their motivation to study. In addition, the opponents of this view are able to cite evidence of bullying in boarding school, such as senior and junior practice. They believe that it is harmful to children growth and development. Overall, it seems to me that boarding school is not a preferable choice for children education due to the negative impact it is caused to both parent and student such as the education fee is costly, children struggle to adapt to a new environment and bullying practice among students.
The type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
become an argumentation topic for the parent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is better than day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while the others opposing it. This essay will discuss the view and give a concluding view.

In the one hand, those who support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a remarkable choice for child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that it has a major benefit to building up independence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are living in the dormitory doing their domestic chores such as washing, ironing, and cleaning by themselves.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has complete facilities to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
academic performance such as additional lesson and out-off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
coaching sessions.
Moreover
, living apart from family could develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
character.
For example
, It would develop them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, honesty, respect youngsters.

On the other hand
, the opponents of this view feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is expensive. The parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more expense such as accommodation and extra facilities fees.
Furthermore
, it could
also
difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to adapt to a new environment which is difference with their home. This would impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
pupil lose their motivation to study.
In addition
, the opponents of this view are able to cite evidence of bullying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, such as senior and junior practice. They believe that it is harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth and development.

Overall
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not a preferable choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact it
is caused
to both parent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
fee is costly,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
struggle to adapt to a new environment and bullying practice among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that boarding school (where students live at the school during the term) are excellent option for children, while other people disagree. Consider both side of the debate and reach a conclusion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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