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The Popularity Of Fashion Clothes Shows The Tendency Of Human Beings To Copy One Another. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The Popularity Of Fashion Clothes Shows The Tendency Of Human Beings To Copy One Another. v. 1
With the help of influences, fashion has never been so widespread before. It is undeniable that our wardrobe's choice is under the influence of celebrities, which means that it is highly likely that humans like to intimate others. The tendency to follow fashion trends stems from a basic human instinct which is insecurity. According to a survey conducted by French psychologists, 75% of people who do the survey claimed that they often follow the crowd. We fear not being accepted by other people so we copy because we want to fit in. Therefore, we follow celebrities as they are already followed by many people, anything that they endorse will have numerous takers. Moreover, the mushrooming development of social media and advertising are also factors that drive us to wear the same types of clothes. A plethora of trends stems from the Internet, and due to the blooming of technology, it is easier for people to keep up with the latest trend. People tend to follow the trends, and this brings certain benefits to the economics. To a certain degree, the aggressive marketing and advertising of clothes and accessories are responsible for the rising sales of these products. In fact, the fashion industry makes up more than 35% of the global stock market in today’s world. Many stores boost their sales whenever there is a fashion trend, which resulted in the sprawl of the fashion industry. Furthermore, the proliferation of the industry also provides more jobs, such as supermodels, designers or makeup artists. Hence, the fashion industry makes a great contribution to the global economy. To recapitulate, people have the tendency of following the trends, which leads to the development of the global economy.
With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of influences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
has never been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
widespread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It is undeniable that our wardrobe's choice is under the influence of celebrities, which means that it is
highly
likely that humans like to intimate others.

The tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
stems from a basic human instinct which is insecurity. According to a survey conducted by French psychologists, 75% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do the survey claimed that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the crowd. We fear not being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we copy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we want to fit in.
Therefore
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
celebrities as they are already followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, anything that they endorse will have numerous takers.
Moreover
, the mushrooming development of social media and advertising are
also
factors that drive us to wear the same types of clothes. A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
stems from the Internet, and due to the blooming of technology, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the latest trend.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
, and this brings certain benefits to the economics. To a certain degree, the aggressive marketing and advertising of clothes and accessories are responsible for the rising sales of these products. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up more than 35% of the global stock market in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
stores boost their sales whenever there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, which resulted in the sprawl of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
Furthermore
, the proliferation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
also
provides more jobs, such as supermodels, designers or makeup artists.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a great contribution to the global economy.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the tendency of following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
, which leads to the development of the global economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The Popularity Of Fashion Clothes Shows The Tendency Of Human Beings To Copy One Another. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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