Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. v. 1
From some people's perspective, it is better for a country to purchase foreign films and TV programmes. While some individuals think that it is more beneficial to produce these locally. I uphold that producing local movies is a profitable way. On the one hand, there are same advantages of buying films from other countries. First one is that it can help learning other countries cultures, traditions or information about its geography. In addition people can see well-known places such as castles, skyscrapers or famous actors in films which are foreign movies. Secondly it would help it citizens to be more knowledgeable. For example they are able to learn foreign language through TV programmes. Furthermore there are information about business namely about how to be good businessmen in some foreign films. Because in developed countries the role of business is very utmost in society, so they often produce movies or TV programmes which are about business, teaching method or how to be rich. On the other hand, there some drawbacks of purchasing foreign films from other countries. I have several examples. Firstly, countries traditions and cultures are various. So some countries do not import movies from other countries, oppositely they produce films locally. For instance in Islam countries, drinking alcaholic drinks was banned but in Christian countries, a lot customs are different from our customs. So many people regard that it is better to produce films domestically because of some reasons. First one is that local movies help citizens to know well own country culture, customs. Because nowadays young generations do not know enough information about their traditions or national holidays. Nextly, producing movies locally is more beneficial for unemployment local people. That reason that film industry can create jobs such as actors, directors and cameramen. Finally, it is more cheap than buying foreign films from other countries. In conclusion, it seems to me that producing films domestically is better than import movies from foreign countries. It undeniable that it is more advantageous for local individuals and country budget.
From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's perspective, it is better for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films and TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
these
locally
. I uphold that producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is a profitable way.

On the one hand, there are same advantages of buying films from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
First
one is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cultures, traditions or information about its geography. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
well-known places such as castles, skyscrapers or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actors in films which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Secondly
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
it citizens to be more knowledgeable. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, they".
example they
are able to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language through TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
there are information about business
namely
about how to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
businessmen in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the role of business is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
utmost in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
which are about business, teaching method or how to be rich.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I have several examples.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
traditions and cultures are various.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
oppositely
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
films
locally
.
For instance
in Islam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, drinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
alcaholic
drinks
was banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Christian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of customs"?
a lot customs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from our customs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
films
domestically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
First
one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
citizens to know well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
culture, customs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
nowadays young generations do not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information about their traditions or national holidays.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
locally
is more beneficial for unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. That reason that film industry can create jobs such as actors, directors and cameramen.
Finally
, it is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
than buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that producing films
domestically
is better than import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
undeniable that it is more advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
budget.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts