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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree Totally agree 1. Corruption 2. Bad economic policies Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree Totally agree 1. Corruption 2. Bad economic policies v. 1
Wealthy countries regularly render financial aid to third world countries, yet, they remain impoverished. This is because of their government's corrupt practices and unhealthy economic policies. Hence, I totally agree that other forms of help such as free drugs and foreign scholarships be given to these countries. Corruption limits progress. Leaders of most poor countries defraud their people. Unfortunately, when money is given to these nations, it passes through these fraudulent governments. They divert the fund to selfish projects such as acquiring new houses and cars, neglecting the main purpose of it. A good example is Nigerian politicians. In 2009, The Sun newspaper reported on 11th March, that the UK government gave ours a million pound for healthcare. However, till date, no health facility admits to have gotten anything from the state. Instead, it was said in Thisday newspaper on 29th of same month that each governor got an additional official car. Therefore, I think direct healthcare such as funding of very crucial drugs such as HIV drugs will be better as it makes it difficult for leaders to indulge in their crimes. Furthermore, these third world countries have irrational economic policies. Little attention is paid to things such as education which promotes development in a society. Very little of the nation's budget is allocated to it in most of these countries. For instance, in Nigerian 2018 budget, only 7% was set aside for academics. Thus irrespective of the amount of fund given to them, their unfounded priority keeps them impoverished. Consequently so, supports such as scholarships to study abroad creates room for better education. These individuals can then return to develop their place. In conclusion, financial support has not helped less privileged nations due to their criminal practices and unreasonable economic strategies. Accordingly, other types of assistance in the form of scholarships and drug sponsorship should be considered.
Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
regularly
render financial aid to third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
yet
, they remain impoverished. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's corrupt practices and unhealthy economic policies.
Hence
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that other forms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
such as free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and foreign scholarships be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to these countries.

Corruption limits progress. Leaders of most poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
defraud their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Unfortunately, when money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to these nations, it passes through these fraudulent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. They divert the fund to selfish projects such as acquiring new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and cars, neglecting the main purpose of it. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is Nigerian politicians. In 2009, The Sun newspaper reported on 11th March, that the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
gave ours a million pound for healthcare.
However
, till date, no health facility
The verb 'admits' is used with the gerund form: "admits having".
admits to have
gotten anything from the state.
Instead
, it
was said
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thisday
newspaper on 29th of same month that each governor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an additional official car.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
direct healthcare such as funding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
such as HIV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
will be better as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for leaders to indulge in their crimes.

Furthermore
, these third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have irrational economic policies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Little
attention
is paid
to things such as education which promotes development in a society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
of the nation's budget
is allocated
to it in most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, in Nigerian 2018 budget,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7%
was set
aside for academics.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
irrespective of the amount of fund
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them, their unfounded priority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them impoverished.
Consequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, supports such as scholarships to study abroad creates room for better education. These individuals can then return to develop their place.

In conclusion
, financial support has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
less privileged nations due to their criminal practices and unreasonable economic strategies.
Accordingly
, other types of assistance in the form of scholarships and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
sponsorship should
be considered
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree Totally agree 1. Corruption 2. Bad economic policies v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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