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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree Totally agree 1. Corruption 2. Bad economic policies Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree Totally agree 1. Corruption 2. Bad economic policies v. 2
Countries that are richer usually give monetary donations to the less financially endowed ones, but this doesn't end poverty. The question of whether or not it is better to give other forms of assistance will be addressed in this essay. In my own view, I agree that poorer countries will benefit more when the richer country can encourage skills acquisition in a bid to end poverty. To begin with, the financial aid given by richer countries do not benefit the populace who needs them more. This is because, such funds are mismanaged by the leaders in these countries. According to an investigative survey carried out in two west African countries, it was noted that only about ten percent of such funds are actually utilized. A huge chunk of it, actually ended in private accounts of politicians. Therefore, it is entirely gainless for the bigger countries to continue to donate when their objective of ending poverty is not met. However, supporting skills acquisition among the citizens is a better alternative to financial aid. Instead of dishing out huge amounts of money, the economically better countries can build centres where skills such as information and communications technology can be acquired. Citizens can learn invaluable skills such as web development and design which are priceless in this present age. A recent article in the New York Times noted that many more leading economies are beginning to realize the essence of empowering the skill acquisition capabilities of developing countries as a better way to end poverty. I equally agree that this is good way out. In conclusion, mismanagement of monetary aid makes it unable to stop poverty. A better option is to empower the people instead. I therefore recommend that all financially robust countries embrace skill acquisition as a way out of poverty.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
that are richer
usually
give monetary donations to the less
financially
endowed ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
or not it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to give other forms of assistance will
be addressed
in this essay. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will benefit more when the richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquisition
in a bid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
poverty.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the financial aid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not benefit the populace who needs them more. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, such funds
are mismanaged
by the leaders in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. According to an investigative survey carried out in two west African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it
was noted
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about ten percent of such funds are actually utilized. A huge chunk of it, actually ended in private accounts of politicians.
Therefore
, it is
entirely
Possible spelling mistake found.
gainless
for the bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to continue to donate when their objective of ending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is not met.

However
, supporting
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquisition
among the citizens is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
alternative to financial aid.
Instead
of dishing out huge amounts of money, the
economically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can build
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as information and communications technology can
be acquired
. Citizens can learn invaluable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as web development and design which are priceless in this present age. A recent article in the New York Times noted that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more leading economies are beginning to realize the essence of empowering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquisition
capabilities of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. I
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way out.

In conclusion
, mismanagement of monetary aid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option is to empower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
instead
. I
therefore
recommend that all
financially
robust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
embrace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquisition
as a way out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree Totally agree 1. Corruption 2. Bad economic policies v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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