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The plans below show the layout of university's sport centre now and how it will look after development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make the comparisions where relevant v.1

The plans below show the layout of university's sport centre now and how it will look after development.
It is argued that the current workplace demands more younger professionals than older workers because the latter are not adaptable to fast-changing ideas and technologies. I agree with this view to a great extent. While I do admit that young professionals are more comfortable with new technologies, they lack the experience and wisdom of their seniors and for this reason companies also need to retain at least some of their experienced employees. Workers over fifty years of age are considered the asset of an institution. Their vast skill, not only adds value but also helps in the critical decision-making process. Apart from new ideas, every grouping needs workers with hands-on involvement and a deep understanding of industry specific issues. Thus, obviously, every organization needs at least some experienced senior employees. However, in this age of technology, practice alone will not suffice. Despite the enriched action older workers have, the changing dynamics of today’s building demand young professionals. Today’s enterprise witnesses an unprecedented adjustment which is fast and requires quick adaptation. With the continuous technical advancement, high competition and a flooded market, a management cannot take the risk of investing time in the training of its resources. Older professionals are habituated to and comfortable in their own style of work which is hard to evolve. On the other hand, young professionals are fresh hence they can be moulded to fit any style of working. For example, when the internet started ruling over the world, older workers found it very hard to adapt to this sudden diversity at the company. Hence, systems quickly started taking young professionals who can easily work on computers. Overall, the know-how does have an advantage, but this fast-paced market needs young people who are more adaptive and flexible. In conclusion, this essay argued that in current market dynamics, an assembly needs employees who are flexible and responsive to change; hence, young professionals are preferred over older workers. Having said that, it is still important to retain at least some senior employees in key decision making roles.
It
is argued
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
workplace demands
Use only "younger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the latter are not adaptable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and technologies. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to a great extent. While I do admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are more comfortable with new technologies, they lack the experience and wisdom of their seniors and
for this reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to retain at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their experienced employees.

Workers over fifty years of age
are considered
the asset of an institution. Their vast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the critical decision-making process. Apart from new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, every grouping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
with hands-on involvement and a deep understanding of industry specific issues.
Thus
,
obviously
, every organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experienced senior employees.

However
, in this age of technology, practice alone will not suffice. Despite the enriched action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
have, the changing dynamics of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s building demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s enterprise witnesses an unprecedented adjustment which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and requires quick adaptation. With the continuous technical advancement, high competition and a flooded market, a management cannot take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of investing time in the training of its resources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are habituated
to and comfortable in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
style of work which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to evolve.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are fresh
hence
they can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
to fit any style of working.
For example
, when the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
ruling over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
found it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adapt to this sudden diversity at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Hence
, systems
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
who can
easily
work on computers.
Overall
, the know-how does have an advantage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are more adaptive and flexible.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
market dynamics, an assembly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
employees who are flexible and responsive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
;
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are preferred
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. Having said that, it is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to retain at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
senior employees in key
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
roles.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The plans below show the layout of university's sport centre now and how it will look after development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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