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some people believe that television has had a positive influence on society. Other believe it had has a negative influence on society. Which do you agree with and why? v.2

some people believe that television has had a positive influence on society. Other believe it had has a negative influence on society. Which do you agree with and why? v. 2
People have different views about how governments should measure their country's improvement. While economic betterment is of course essential, I agree with those who believe that other measures of progress are just as important. There are three key reasons why economic growth is seen as a fundamental goal for countries. Firstly, a healthy economy result in job creation, a high level of employment, and better salaries for all citizens. Secondly, economic boost ensures that more money is available for governments to spend on infrastructure and public services. For example, a government with higher revenues can invest in the country's transport network, its education system and its hospitals. Finally, a strong economy can help a country’s standing on the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power. However, I would argue that various other forms of progress are just as significant as the economic factors mentioned above. In particular, we should consider the area of social justice, human rights, equality and democracy itself. For example, the treatment of minority groups is often seen as a reflection of the moral standards and level of development of a society. Perhaps another key consideration when judging the progress of a modern country should be how well that it protects the natural environment, and whether it is moving towards environmental sustainability. Alternatively, the success of a nation could be measured by looking at the health, well-being and happiness of its residents. In conclusion, the economy is obviously a key marker of a nation's success, but social, environmental and health criteria are equally significant.
People
have
different
views about how
governments
should measure their country's improvement.

While
economic
betterment is
of course
essential, I
agree
with those who believe that other measures of progress are
just
as
important
.

There are three key reasons why
economic
growth is
seen
as a fundamental goal for countries.
Firstly
, a healthy economy result in job creation, a high level of employment, and better salaries for all citizens.
Secondly
,
economic
boost ensures that more money is available for
governments
to spend on infrastructure and public services.
For example
, a
government
with higher revenues can invest in the country's transport network, its education system and its hospitals.
Finally
, a strong economy can
help
a country’s standing on the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power.

However
, I would argue that various other forms of progress are
just
as significant as the
economic
factors mentioned above.
In particular
, we should consider the area of social justice, human rights, equality and democracy itself.
For example
, the treatment of minority groups is
often
seen
as a reflection of the moral standards and level of development of a society. Perhaps another key consideration when judging the progress of a modern country should be how well that it protects the natural environment, and whether it is moving towards environmental sustainability.
Alternatively
, the success of a nation could
be measured
by looking at the health, well-being and happiness of its residents.

In conclusion
, the economy is
obviously
a key marker of a nation's success,
but
social, environmental and health criteria are
equally
significant.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay some people believe that television has had a positive influence on society. Other believe it had has a negative influence on society. Which do you agree with and why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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