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The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.
Due to the technological advances which includes, medium of conversation and travelling opportunities, workers have actually gained liberty to work and stay at their preferred location. In my opinion, this trend has more benefits such as flexibility and convenience over a minimal disadvantage like stress. To begin with, advanced technical tools like, email and Skype, enabling them to be in contact with their colleagues and complete their task irrespective of being physically present. This means that any professional can actually work from home, while spending more time with family and can complete the task. To illustrate, one of my friend who works for Microsoft, usually carry out his tasks from home every month is the case of any requirement. What is more, nowadays, people are able to travel to quite a long distance due to an improved travelling option such as car-pooling and Metro in big cities. Since travelling by these means are often fast and convenient to reach the workplace, people prefer to a travel a long distance to stay with their family rather staying near to the office. For example, 30% of the workforce of Gurgaon city generally come from another part of the region. On the other hand, the greatest reason why some people, including me, prefer a traditional way of education since it is incredibly well-structured. The traditional educational bodies, who usually follow a systematic methodology, emphasize theory and practical until they reach the results. To illustrate, an average student needs to go through about 6-8 lectures at a regular school. Therefore, if a structured education is needed, then the conventional schooling is the superior way to achieve it. To conclude, technical advancement has made people more liberal in terms of working and living due to modern communication and travel opportunities. It certainly has more benefits like flexibility to work from home and live anywhere, however, a few minimal drawbacks like fatigue are inevitable.
Due to the technological advances which includes, medium of conversation and travelling opportunities, workers have actually gained liberty to
work
and stay at their preferred location. In my opinion, this trend has more benefits such as flexibility and convenience over a minimal disadvantage like
stress
.

To
begin
with, advanced technical tools like, email and Skype, enabling them to be in contact with their colleagues and complete their task irrespective of being
physically
present. This means that any professional can actually
work
from home, while spending more time with family and can complete the task. To illustrate, one of my friend who works for Microsoft,
usually
carry out his tasks from home every month is the case of any requirement.
What is more
, nowadays,
people
are able to travel to quite a long distance due to an
improved
travelling option such as car-pooling and Metro in
big
cities. Since travelling by these means are
often
fast
and convenient to reach the workplace,
people
prefer to a travel a long distance to stay with their family
rather
staying near to the office.
For example
, 30% of the workforce of Gurgaon city
generally
come
from another part of the region.

On the other hand
, the greatest reason why
some
people
, including me, prefer a traditional way of education since it is
incredibly
well-structured. The traditional educational bodies, who
usually
follow a systematic methodology, emphasize theory and practical until they reach the results. To illustrate, an average student needs to go through about 6-8 lectures at a regular school.
Therefore
, if a structured education
is needed
, then the conventional schooling is the superior way to achieve it.

To conclude
, technical advancement has made
people
more liberal in terms of working and living due to modern communication and travel opportunities. It
certainly
has more benefits like flexibility to
work
from home and
live
anywhere,
however
, a few minimal drawbacks like fatigue are inevitable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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