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Tourism has caused environmental problems in many parts of the world. What sort of problems has been caused and what can be done about them? v.1

Tourism has caused environmental problems in many parts of the world. What sort of problems has been caused and what can be done about them? v. 1
It is an indisputable fact that learning is one of the activities that broadens the scope of individuals in all aspects of life, but it is believed by most people that it is irrelevant to learn something of the past while living in this present time. However, others have also rallied behind the assertion that the past is equally important as current times. In my opinion, I completely disagree that studying past events and activities is valueless. First of all, to solve present situations, past solutions are actually significant. Most problems occurring now have once happened before and there were substantive measures to bring them under absolute control. So to deal with such issues of this present age, it would be expedient, we trek back to the old times to look for the possible ways, that early on, curbed a circumstance. For example, an article had it that, in 1993, a greater number of people, could not sustain their businesses because of certain reasons, but as the years drew by this problem was resolved. As a matter of fact, to combat similar situations of the present, learning about the measures used in the past moment would be helpful. Secondly, the number mistakes to be committed in certain current fraternities like the family, schools, churches, to mention but a few, would be dwindled to the bare minimum if people learn about past situations. Most of the institutions that existed some decades ago made innumerable shortcomings and were nicely documented. Going back to read about them would do a lot of good to likely groups that still live today. That is to say, we would always be conscious of them and seal any channel that might try to bring forth any of such flaws. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the assertion that studying and reading about past situations and events has no significance to those basking in the present times, because it is a panacea to cut down mistakes and deal massively with difficult predicaments of the present.
It is an indisputable fact that learning is one of the activities that broadens the scope of individuals in all aspects of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is believed
by most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is irrelevant to learn something of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
while living in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, others have
also
rallied behind the assertion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. In my opinion, I completely disagree that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and activities is valueless.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
solutions are actually significant. Most problems occurring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have once happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and there were substantive measures to bring them under absolute control.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to deal with such issues of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
age, it would be expedient, we trek back to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to look for the possible ways, that early on, curbed a circumstance.
For example
, an article had it that, in 1993, a greater number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, could not sustain their businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as the years drew by this problem
was resolved
. As a matter of fact, to combat similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, learning about the measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
moment would be helpful.

Secondly
, the number mistakes to
be committed
in certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
fraternities like the family, schools, churches, to mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few, would
be dwindled
to the bare minimum if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. Most of the institutions that existed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decades ago made innumerable shortcomings and were
nicely
documented. Going back to read about them would do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to likely groups that
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
That is
to say, we would always be conscious of them and seal any channel that might try to bring forth any of such flaws.

In conclusion
, I completely disagree with the assertion that studying and reading about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
has no significance to those basking in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a panacea to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down mistakes and deal
massively
with difficult predicaments of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Tourism has caused environmental problems in many parts of the world. What sort of problems has been caused and what can be done about them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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