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The plan below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. v.1

The plan below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. v. 1
Today, the media has a great impact on society and it is less likely to shun away from the influence. This trend has several cons and pros. The major advantage of media rich society is that people can reach recent news immediately and early. Compared to the past ages, today people can aware of the news two or three times faster. For example, until the invention of telephone and morse codes the main communication means were letters. Even in rudimentary ages sparrow used as a postman in order to deliver news. On the other hand, despite the advantage mentioned above, sometimes media can be the main factor of chaos and misunderstandings. Some media channels deliberately distort the truth for increasing rates. Moreover, websites use captivating headlines to attract more interest despite most of the headlines entirely unrelated with the given news. The other disadvantage of modern media is advertising policies. There is so much advertisement all around us and most of them trying to persuade us to buy the things which we really do not really need. Additionally, some advertisement companies use sexuality in order to be seen more appealing and attractive. But such companies did not consider that this advertisement method has a negative impact on child's standpoint about morality. In conclusion, modern media play an important role to get information rapidly, but at the same time misusing of media platforms might lead to undesirable consequences.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a great impact on society and it is less likely to shun away from the influence. This trend has several cons and pros.

The major advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rich society is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can reach recent news immediately and early. Compared to the past ages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can aware of the news two or three times faster.
For example
, until the invention of telephone and
Possible spelling mistake found.
morse
codes the main communication means were letters. Even in rudimentary ages sparrow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a postman in order to deliver news.

On the other hand
, despite the advantage mentioned above,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be the main factor of chaos and misunderstandings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
channels
deliberately
distort the truth for increasing rates.
Moreover
, websites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
captivating headlines to attract more interest despite most of the headlines
entirely
unrelated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
news. The other disadvantage of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is advertising policies. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much advertisement all around us and most of them trying to persuade us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things which we
really
do not
really
need.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
sexuality in order to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
more appealing and attractive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
did not consider that this advertisement method has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on child's standpoint about morality.

In conclusion
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information
rapidly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time misusing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms might lead to undesirable consequences.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The plan below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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