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the pie charts show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. v.1

the pie charts show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. v. 1
Transportation is an age long human activity. Although, the first vehicle to ply the roads of Britain was seen in 1888, the number of automobiles on the roads drastically increased to 29 million after 12 years. Therefore, I completely support the use of alternative modes of transport and introduction of international laws to regulate the way motor vehicles are being used and owned. Excessive use of automobiles for transport is highly associated with traffic congestion witnessed on our roads today. Consequently, people spend too long hours on journeys that ought to have taken them few minutes, thus, physical and psychological stress ensues. A good example is the case of Lagos, a densely populated state located in the South Western part of Nigeria, where most residents leave their homes early and return in very late in the night due to incessant delays experienced on the roads. It is, therefore, imperative for government to reinforce other means of transport such as railway and mass transport systems, in order to considerably reduce the number of cars in use. Another reason why I support this idea is the negative impact of car use on the environment. This is because global warming had been revealed to be mainly caused by carbondioxide, a gas released from internal combustion engines of automobiles. Global warming depletes the ozone layer, which is a protective covering of the atmosphere. For instance, a recent study WHO pointed out that the principal source of CO2 is the fume discharged from car exhaust. Hence, restriction of car ownership and use will invariably help to curtail the menace of global warming. To sum up, due to an upsurge in the use of vehicles, I am of the opinion that there should be reinforcement of railway transport and adoption of foreign laws to curb the ownership and use of cars. This will go a long way in reducing traffic congestion and making our environment safer.
Transportation is an age long human activity. Although, the
first
vehicle to
ply
the
roads
of Britain was
seen
in 1888, the number of automobiles on the
roads
drastically
increased to 29 million after 12 years.
Therefore
, I completely support the
use
of alternative modes of
transport
and introduction of international laws to regulate the way motor vehicles are being
used
and
owned
.

Excessive
use
of automobiles for
transport
is
highly
associated with traffic congestion witnessed on our
roads
today
.
Consequently
,
people
spend too long hours on journeys that ought to have taken them few minutes,
thus
, physical and psychological
stress
ensues. A
good
example is the case of Lagos, a
densely
populated state located in the South Western part of Nigeria, where most residents
leave
their homes early and return in
very
late in the night due to incessant delays experienced on the
roads
. It is,
therefore
, imperative for
government
to reinforce other means of
transport
such as railway and mass
transport
systems, in order to
considerably
reduce
the number of
cars
in
use
.

Another reason why I support this
idea
is the
negative
impact of
car
use
on the environment. This is
because
global warming had
been revealed
to be
mainly
caused by
carbondioxide
, a gas released from internal combustion engines of automobiles. Global warming depletes the ozone layer, which is a protective covering of the atmosphere.
For instance
, a recent study WHO pointed out that the principal source of CO2 is the fume discharged from
car
exhaust.
Hence
, restriction of
car
ownership and
use
will
invariably
help
to curtail the menace of global warming.

To sum up, due to an upsurge in the
use
of vehicles, I am of the opinion that there should be reinforcement of railway
transport
and adoption of foreign laws to curb the ownership and
use
of
cars
. This will go a long way in reducing traffic congestion and making our environment safer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay the pie charts show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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