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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
In this modern era, it has been observed that many people are taking diet charts and workout plans, which are offered by various professionals in the society. However, it is believed by many that before following the former persuasion, people should pay close attention to their eating habits and the way they live. I opine that later phenomenon has significant value, and in order to adopt a wholesome, healthy life, one needs to adopt the better eating habits as well as manner of living. First of all, even if people follow the given stringent diet rules and rigorous physical training, it is said worldwide that unless a person will not bring changes in the lifestyle, he or she will return back to its original shape when they will stop working on the taken plans. Therefore, even before paying to the health trainers, everyone should start putting the efforts too. For instance, I had taken a schedule from one of the professionals for two months, but I had to sit long hours due to the office job. So, when my plan ended, after a short span of time, I have started gaining weight again. Further, it is also seen that many people prefer to take these charts to come out of any specific ailments such as diabetes or blood pressure, but by taking active steps, by including fresh vegetables and fruits in the daily food and by doing morning exercise is sufficient to keep the person fit. For example, one of my aunts wakes-up early in the morning and do yoga in parks for half an hour, consequently she is the fittest amongst all my aunties. To summarise, though it is imperative to follow charts and do exercises to be in shape or to achieve health benefits, it is essential to bring changes in living patterns also by renouncing poor food habits and by altering lifestyle patterns as a first step towards the goal of leading a healthy life.
In this modern era, it has
been observed
that
many
people
are taking diet charts and workout plans, which
are offered
by various professionals in the society.
However
, it
is believed
by
many
that
before
following the former persuasion,
people
should pay close attention to their eating habits and the way they
live
. I opine that later phenomenon has significant value, and in order to adopt a wholesome, healthy life, one needs to adopt the better eating habits
as well
as manner of living.

First of all
, even if
people
follow the
given
stringent diet
rules
and rigorous physical training, it
is said
worldwide that unless a person will not bring
changes
in the lifestyle, he or she will
return back
to its original shape when they will
stop
working on the taken plans.
Therefore
, even
before
paying to the health trainers, everyone should
start
putting the efforts too.
For instance
, I had taken a schedule from one of the professionals for two months,
but
I had to sit long hours due to the office job.
So
, when my plan ended, after a short span of time, I have
started
gaining weight again.

Further
, it is
also
seen
that
many
people
prefer to take these charts to
come
out of any specific ailments such as diabetes or blood pressure,
but
by taking active steps, by including fresh vegetables and fruits in the daily food and by doing morning exercise is sufficient to
keep
the person fit.
For example
, one of my aunts wakes-up early in the morning and do yoga in parks for half an hour,
consequently
she is the fittest amongst all my aunties.

To
summarise
, though it is imperative to follow charts and do exercises to be in shape or to achieve health benefits, it is essential to bring
changes
in living patterns
also
by renouncing poor food habits and by altering lifestyle patterns as a
first
step towards the goal of leading a healthy life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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