Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, the massive development of the media has made a great contribution to society, which includes education programs for children. However, whether studying on television, video and computer games can bring more benefits than negative effects is a controversial issue. I believe that we should make the most of those materials to support children to study better. First, it is true that the information resource from the Internet is enormous and in every domain in life. This means that there is no obstacle for pupils to discover the world around and fill up their minds with just a computer or a television. The lessons applied the progressive technology allow students to visualize lively and experience in the most practical ways. For example, with the presence of 3-D technology, parents now are able to bring a Jurassic world with all types of dinosaurs into their child's room. Therefore, the media is an essential tool that plays a critical role in schools. Those who harbor the view that the Internet, television and computer games negatively affect their children are partly right. Now many adolescents are addicted to playing online games and gradually drifting away from the society outside. Moreover, the world on the Internet is also very sophisticated that the learners may neglect the study purpose to sink themselves into the virtual experience. This, notwithstanding, can be circumscribed if youngsters are guided to utilize the Internet properly by not only the teachers but their parents. Thus, in spite of the potential risks, the pros still outweigh the cons. In conclusion, what schools and families should do is to get technology involved in education programs of future generations in the 4. 0 era. Simultaneously, it is crucial to supervise the activities of children in order to ensure that they do not misuse the media.
Nowadays, the massive development of the media has made a great contribution to society, which includes education programs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, whether studying on television, video and computer games can bring more benefits than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects is a controversial issue. I believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of those materials to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study better.

First
, it is true that the information resource from the Internet is enormous and in every domain in life. This means that there is no obstacle for pupils to discover the world around and fill up their minds with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a computer or a television. The lessons applied the progressive technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
students to visualize lively and experience in the most practical ways.
For example
, with the presence of 3-D technology, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are able to bring a
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Jurassic world
with all types of dinosaurs into their child's room.
Therefore
, the media is an essential tool that plays a critical role in schools. Those who harbor the view that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


Internet, television and computer games
negatively
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are partly right.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents
are addicted
to playing online games and
gradually
drifting away from the society outside.
Moreover
, the world on the Internet is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sophisticated that the learners may neglect the study purpose to sink themselves into the virtual experience. This, notwithstanding, can
be circumscribed
if youngsters
are guided
to utilize the Internet
properly
by not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their parents.

Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, the pros
still
outweigh the cons.
In conclusion
, what schools and families should do is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
technology involved in education programs of future generations in the 4. 0
Possible agreement error. The noun 'era' seems to be countable, so consider using: "eras".
era
.
Simultaneously
, it is crucial to supervise the activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order to ensure that they do not misuse the media.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts